I think it's extremely selfish when people make mass tragedies all about themselves. People moaning about trips they couldn't go on, bitching about not going to their senior prom, whining how they're unable to buy essential goods, you know, that sort of shit. The worst so far has been the people complaining how they couldn't celebrate their birthday. I hated them for that. But that was their birthday, today is mine and I'm here to bitch.
If I didn't have bad luck, I wouldn't have any luck at all. The dominos started to fall that night the NBA went AWOL. The next day was a Thursday and I had a pair of third row tickets to see Nate Bargatze in Red Bank, New Jersey. He cancelled an hour before the show. The following day, Friday, I was given lower level tickets to the Big East Tournament at Madison Square Garden. It was cancelled the morning of.
Now you might be thinking, wow look at poor money bags over here can't see his wittle shows. That's what I'd be thinking, but fuck you. I could barely afford this shit and I rarely leave my house. I'm not super into the higher power thing, but karma is looking pretty legitimate at the moment. Hang tight, it gets worse.
Last week the boys and I officially pulled the plug on our trip to Scottsdale, Arizona. Like an old dog, we knew it was coming but we held out probably longer than we should have. Nine days from today I was supposed to be catching a Diamondbacks game, going back to our fancy schmancy Airbnb, and pregaming for a pool party bar where I was planning on failing with ASU girls way out of my league.
Which brings me to today. My birthday. My cousin had bought me Yankee tickets for my birthday. Not any ol Yankee tickets either. Today was supposed to be Gerrit Cole's first start in Yankee Stadium. Instead of beers, pinstripes, and the 300 million dollar man, I'm sitting here refreshing Jeff Passan's twitter to see if there's any updates on the MLB returning to my television. Woe is me.
Props to me for never tweeting or complaining about any of this. I never would either, but today is my birthday so I'm the King. That means you have sit there and listen to my pity party. I should have been sitting in Yankee stadium as I'm typing this. What did I get? A mean hangover spent with two fans on, switching back and forth between Ozark and an old comic book. Year 27 off to a slow start. So it goes...
But this is my birthday, damn it. I had my fun whining, it was pretty therapeutic actually, but I'm going to choose to end it on a positive note. Last night I celebrated on Zoom with college friends from Alabama over a couple of drinking games. My dad, my brother and I ordered in some Houlihan's and I blew out a candle stuck into my side of mashed potatoes. And lastly, most importantly, my sister is in labor at this very moment having my first nephew on my birthday. Woah is me.
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