I have a confession to make. I just got off of work an hour ago (10:00pm). I know, I know. I've written eleven quarantine based blogs in the last month. The truth is, I've been writing them after work or on my days off this whole time. I'm sorry to have hoodwinked you. The only thing I can offer is my deepest condolences and my shame.
While killing some time on Facebook, I scrolled across the class clown turned woke guy from high school. It was seven paragraphs long, but I was in the mood to be angry so I indulged. The post starts with him asking for the last ten years why it has to be this way for him. He's isn't sick if that's what you're thinking. Our gracious host then strongly insists that he isn't doing this for sympathy. I, his humble guest on this post, obliged. He goes on to say that being jealous of what others have during these times isn't the right 'mindset'. Odds are he just watched that video of celebrities singing/pacifying the world in their mansions. The word "mindset" is so fucking triggering to me, I can't explain it. Like if you casually use "mindset" I just assume you're a douchebag. What are you a fucking personal trainer? Getting off track. The reader is instructed to embrace their hardships because that's what makes you....(wait for it)...you. Very uplighting. Next paragraph, not so much. Woke guy says right when he's beginning to accept his hardships, this whole pandemic thing happens and that he is now facing even more adversity than ever. He's having a tough go at it in his parent's house apparently. His dissertation ends with some personal growth thing and how we need to stay positive. If you're feeling sad, stay positive. Damn, wish I would've thought of that. I'm sorry I've been acting like I was quarantined every day, I didn't understand the toll this was taking.
All of his likes were from users who are collecting a social security check. If you think I'm being too hard on this kid remember I know him and you don't. He hasn't had some tragic death in his family, he isn't sick, according to his friends he doesn't have any mental health issues. I'm pretty sure his last ten years of his hardships is just him not going to college (not cause he couldn't afford it, he's rich). He got his real estate license or some shit after graduation and now thinks he was robbed of his childhood. You're home, fucking try hard to enjoy it. I was home for three days last week and my masturbation to shower ratio was 2:1. Or was it 1:2? I don't know I was never great at math, but I jerked off a lot.
I probably am being too harsh. I don't mean to diminish people struggling with this quarantine. I'm sure it can be mundane and lonely. Really, you can't tell by my tone, but I'm not being sarcastic. Take care of yourselves, call your families, call your friends. Have a drink, you deserve it. My only ask is that you try not to fucking lecture a whole social media platform on how hard your life is while you're still in pajamas. I guarantee you, those nurses and doctors would switch with you in a heartbeat. Remember how being at work sucks? They're still doing that. Now I'm lecturing.
Try not to go crazy. Watch Ozark, what I've seen of this season is really good. I'm falling in love with Jason Bateman. Gain a few pounds, no one's watching. Watch a man open up 6,000 boxes for three hours. Read a book, draw something, laugh at some stand up. Find a way to blow off some steam, like I just did. Do whatever you do that makes you enjoy your nothing time. Because you most likely won't get another chance at nothing until you retire. By then, you'll be too old and gross to enjoy it. Don't feel sorry for the people still working, they didn't sign up for the pity field. They're more worried for you for when everything goes back to normal and you're a part of the worst Sunday Scaries in history.
On a personal note, I was asked to possibly work seven days a week. I'm going to try and keep blogging as much as I can but if I miss a blog on a day I normally post, cut me some fuggin slack. I'm sorry I snapped a bit back there.
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