If it isn't clear, it's Tar Heels. They're future canceled, UNC is fucked. I don't know why more people don't question the team name down in Chapel Hill. It's such a stupid name that we've accepted it's only possible definition as: a collegiate basketball team. But those dirty footed rednecks aren't telling the whole truth.
The Confederacy used to refer to their North Carolina soldiers as Tar Heels. Like the slave owning Confederacy just in case there's any confusion. Tar Heels were proud that their heels stuck in to the frontline while other "oily" states would slip to the back of the fight. Like super cancel worthy. Robert E. Lee has literally been quoted saying "God Bless the Tar Heel boys". What's the hold up here?
I don't know what you do on Sundays, but 6.1 million people have gathered to listen to the story of Michael Jordan. Ever heard of him? He was a Tar Heel. Yuck. Jordan's Air Jordan brand has turned him into a $2.1 BILLION dollar man. Who does Air Jordan sponsor?
Bad visual now that you know what it means. I doubt Jordan would ever let anything be done about it while he's still breathing though. He makes too much money selling Tar Heel merchandise. Is this what a conspiracy theory is? I've never done one.
Don't let those Carolinians feed you that they're known as the tar state either. Or that "Tar Heels" just means that they're hard workers from dirtying their feet. UNC Tar Heels literally translates to UNC Confederate Soldiers. I don't care if you pretend that it meant something before. Confederate used to mean "joined by an agreement". Who the fuck uses it like that ever? Once something becomes associated with the Civil War, then that's what it means forever.
Look, I don't really like the whole cancel culture. Hate it actually. But then I remembered I don't actually care about things unless it directly affects me. Which this doesn't. Only North Carolina, and they kill more people than any other state because of like cigarettes and stuff. So fuck em. Go Blue Devils.
I don't know what you do on Sundays, but 6.1 million people have gathered to listen to the story of Michael Jordan. Ever heard of him? He was a Tar Heel. Yuck. Jordan's Air Jordan brand has turned him into a $2.1 BILLION dollar man. Who does Air Jordan sponsor?
Bad visual now that you know what it means. I doubt Jordan would ever let anything be done about it while he's still breathing though. He makes too much money selling Tar Heel merchandise. Is this what a conspiracy theory is? I've never done one.
Don't let those Carolinians feed you that they're known as the tar state either. Or that "Tar Heels" just means that they're hard workers from dirtying their feet. UNC Tar Heels literally translates to UNC Confederate Soldiers. I don't care if you pretend that it meant something before. Confederate used to mean "joined by an agreement". Who the fuck uses it like that ever? Once something becomes associated with the Civil War, then that's what it means forever.
Look, I don't really like the whole cancel culture. Hate it actually. But then I remembered I don't actually care about things unless it directly affects me. Which this doesn't. Only North Carolina, and they kill more people than any other state because of like cigarettes and stuff. So fuck em. Go Blue Devils.
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