First of all, never trust a man with an upside down mustache. Like what the fuck even is that? Nintendo Switch is all the craze during lockdown. I'd like to remind you to play with an open mind. As you get older it's important to view each situation from multiple points of view. Like Mario, he's actually the bad guy of the story.
I've been in enough Jersey bars to recognize a jealous Italian douchebag when I see one. Lets take a look at the evidence, shall we? Mario constantly wears his work clothes out in public like he wants everyone to know what a hard worker he is. Probably in the Pipefitters Union. He embroidered his hat with his own initial. Anyone who disagrees with him he calls "goomba" like anyone even knows what the fuck that means. When he feels a fight coming on he takes his "special mushrooms". Steroids. His weird ass lanky ass brother has been side eyeing you the whole night. Every time he jumps he fist pumps...
Enter Bowser. If you like the bad boy type, he's your man. Bowser rocks a flaming red mohawk, with a spiked necklace and bracelets. He's probably in a biker gang. Yet, he has a sensitive side. He's a single father with custody of his son, Bowser Jr. Must be doing something right in the eyes of the court. Plus he's filthy stinking rich. Mario is constantly tracking down his ex, Peach, to Bowser's mansion. When Mario shows up? Bowser's like don't worry Peach baby, we can go to my OTHER CASTLE. Pimpin ain't easy.
Don't believe everything Big Nintendo throws at you. Question everything. We're a "Rahn Stahp!" away from Super Mario Bros being a episode of the Jersey Shore. Play responsibly.
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