Monday, April 20, 2020

The Perfect First Date

Blinddate.com™ | LinkedIn


So you've been hitting the dating apps since you've been holed up. Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, whatever tickles your fancy. Hopefully, you've tricked the opposite sex into thinking that you're actually interesting. Don't try and play dumb; you lied on your professional resume, I can only imagine what your dating profile looks like. When we break our lockdown chains, how are you going to close the deal? Dinner and a movie just doesn't cut it anymore. She can get fifty matches a day on those apps if she wants. How are you going to stand out? An Escape Room, that's how. Stick with me.

If you've ever been to an Escape Room you know how frustrating things can get trying to figure your way out of the room. Most likely, the first time you went was with someone who has done a room before. Nobody goes into these things without a teammate with some experience, that would just be weird. If you've been in an Escape Room with a group of mixed genders, then you know that one Escape veteran asshole who's better at solving the puzzles than everybody else. All the women want to mate with that guy, it's something primal.

Here's where you enact the plan. You suggest to your date that you go to an Escape Room for your first date. How unique, you cheeky bastard. Little does she know, you did the room last week alone with unlimited hints. You have the blueprint to get you and your damsel out of that damn room. Try and let her solve half of it or at least suggest things until a lightbulb goes off. If you're a good liar, you'll be her hero.

Like I said earlier it's something primal. Alpha even. With all these quarantine and end of the world vibes floating around, she'll think you're a natural protector and problem solver. You aren't of course, and odds are in an actual apocalypse you'd get both of you killed. But hey the world hasn't ended yet, has it?

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