Tuesday, October 29, 2019

Clemson Vs Alabama 2022 Preview

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For the first and certainly not the last time, DJ Uiaglelei and Bryce Young faced off this weekend in California. The showdown ended with Bama's recruit beating out Clemoson's 38-24.  DJ Uiaglelei, the Clemson commit, is 247 Sports' QB1 and #3 overall recruit. DJ is flanked by two other top recruits from 247 composite, Ohio St linebacker commit Kourt Williams and UCLA wr commit Logan Loya. Uiaglelei looked poised and unbothered by Mater Dei's constant pressure. While being blitzed he had one of the best plays of the game; dancing around the pocket shaking one defender, and then throwing a fifty yard touchdown with another rusher in his face. DJ Uiaglelei finished 19/31 for 312 yards, two throwing touchdowns and one rushing. He looked good, I won't lie. 

https://twitter.com/prepzone/status/1187963214522249217?s=20

BUT my God, Bryce Young. I don't think I've ever been this excited for an Alabama recruit. Bryce came into this game, ranked as the lesser quarterback, ranked the lesser team, and balled the fuck out. The future Bama Heisman finished with 250 throwing yards, 75 rushing yards, 3 throwing touchdowns, and two rushing touchdowns. Bryce has such a quick release on his throw but shows maturity in the pocket squaring his shoulders on each throw. If the pocket collapses, oh well, time to get your ankles snatched. The first drive Mater Dei had ended on a 51 yard touchdown and Bryce really didn't take his foot of the gas from there. In my biased opinion, the play of the game came in the 3rd quarter on his second touchdown to Epps. Extending the play, running out of the pocket, placing the ball perfectly in the back corner of the end zone where only his receiver could get it. Looking like a young Russell Wilson out there. I'm not taking any Kyler Murray comparisons because I don't like him. 
You can find the touchdown here: 

https://twitter.com/prepzone/status/1187954530551390209?s=20

I love what Tua has started. It's like he reminded the world that Alabama is also looking for top quarterback recruits. Alabama has opened pandora's quarterbox and Bryce Young is the next one to hop out. Put everybody on notice. I fully expect him to start next year as a true freshman following Tua's departure. Bryce slaps Trevor Lawrence on the ass and sends him on his way to the NFL with a loss in 2021. 2022 we get our first rematch between DJ Uiaglelei and Bryce Young. Book it.

Has PJ Lost His Flecking Mind?


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"I said on TV I really hope College GameDay looks at our twin city, our university, truly to bring GameDay here. We have four million people that live in the twin city area. We are the only division one school in the state of Minnesota. Everybody here is Gophers. We have never hosted College Gameday."

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I won't blame him for trying, but PJ can seriously fuck off. It's a valiant effort. His argument is basically that Gameday can do LSU vs Bama any year and who knows the next time Minnesota will be able to host GameDay. I don't know what to tell you PJ, be better. 

We're televising big boy football here Peej. What makes you think you will put on a better show than the #1 vs #2 team? Let's look at the facts here. Minnesota hasn't proven itself as a contending program in years. As for your 8-0 start this year, there was 0 ranked opponents. Penn St has a ranked win vs Michigan under their belt. Their defense is so so serious, giving up multiple touchdowns in only one game this season. The second they come into town, you guys will spot your shadows and run back into your little hole. Gophers and groundhogs are the same thing and you won't tell me otherwise. PJ's boys beat an abysmal Georgia Southern team by 3 points! THREE! The same Georgia Southern that the LSU Tigers beat 55-3. Tell me again how you'll put a better product on that field. 

I don't give a shit if four million people live in the twin cities. I wouldn't care if twenty million lived there, you will not pack the campus like Tuscaloosa vs LSU. Bryant-Denny Stadium holds more than double the amount of fans than the Gophers' stadium. I mean for fucks sake it holds 35,166 more fans than the Vikings stadium. Don't care how many people live there, don't care how many division one schools the state has, you will not have more people than us. This is what we live for. Everybody in Minnesota is Gophers? Wrong. They are also Vikings, Twins, Timberwolves, and Wild. We're talking college football in state of Alabama baby, this is what we fucking do.  

Tuesday, October 22, 2019

What is Turnkey Sports and Why Do They Make Big Decisions In College Football?

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USC recently announced that they have hired Turnkey Search to aid in the hunt for their next Athletic Director. What exactly does that mean for USC? Well one of the reasons for hiring a private firm to do your job for you is the anonymity and the ability to keep things on the low low. Is it possible the connection for Turnkey is to not only look for a new AD, but to get the ball rolling on replacing Clay Helton after his 4-3 start? Who knows? But where the fuck do these people get off making these big decisions for big schools? 

Turnkey's headquarters is located in Haddonfield, NJ. I've lived in New Jersey my whole life and I have no clue where that is. Yet, "small-town" Turnkey has been involved with the hiring of LSU's Ed Orgeron,  Temple's head coach, and Minnesota's, Tennessee's, Michigan's and Alabama's Athletic Director. Oh and Ole Miss' head coach cause obviously they couldn't be trusted since the last guy they hired loved calling hookers on his school-administered phone. What makes these guys so special? This guy:
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Gene Defillipo. The de facto President of the newly forming Shadow Government of college football. Gene's official title is Managing Director of the Intercollegiate Division of Turnkey. He has been an offensive coach for Youngstown and Vanderbilt, Villanova and Boston College's AD, on the Board of Directors for the National Football Foundation, former president of National Association of Collegiate Athletic Directors, and father of John Defillipo (OC for the Jacksonville Jaguars). Gene oversees Turnkey's college involvements from media approach, to sales, and even recruiting. 

So if you see Mean Gene on your campus, buckle up cause heads are rolling. For schools like USC that would be sooner rather than later. 

Tuesday, July 2, 2019

“Avengers” Alabama Hype Video 2019-2020

Katfish Kliff

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Katfish Kliff Kingsb....nevermind. Not calling him that. Not today, Satan. Kliff Kingsbury went on to AJ Hawk's podcast, The Hawkcast (nice), and admitted to catfishing former players while he was the head coach at Texas Tech. 

"We have fake accounts with cute girls that they add right now so we can see what's going on, who's tweeting what. Those are heavily monitored for sure." You know, for looking like such a "bro" Kliff sounds like he loves breaking the bro code. People don't swap the first two letters of their names (ex: Pave Dortnoy) on their Facebooks just to go and get catfished by their coaches? That's bush league. The poor player. What happens if the young man falls in love with your fake account? Huh Kliff? That's how players get distracted. That's how people get Te'o'd. 

The worst part about this whole thing is that Kliff admitted to saving the funniest DMs to give a presentation on them to the whole team. That should be an NCAA violation. No, fuck that, it should be a federal crime. There's no universe in which a coach should present your private DMs to the boys for them to roast you. I can still think up drunk texts and DMs from years ago and cringe about it alone in my bedroom. Imagine seeing a shakespearean text sent you on a big screen and looking around the film room to see all your buddies crying laughing? Knowing that one day they'll quote your private DMs to your face when you least expect it. Picture being out at the bar and trying to court a young lady when all of a sudden your teammate walks up and says "Oh are you trying to [insert DM quote here]". Nightmare fuel. No wonder Kingsbury went 35-40 in his career.  


Thursday, June 13, 2019

In Response To JackMac's Osama Bin Dabo Blog


Is Alabama America's team? Has to be. If Dabo Swinney has proclaimed himself Osama, then his biggest enemy (Alabama) must be America. Did fake nice guy Dabo compare himself to the man who was responsible for 3,000 American lives? Yup. Is Dabo so stupid that he didn't realize that Dabo Bin Laden has a better ring to it than Osama Bin Dabo? Double yup, right in front of his face.

Subsequently, the Crimson Tide have already been compared to post 9/11 America by none other than Nick Saban himself. Following a 2007 loss to a 5-6 Louisiana-Monroe Nick Saban said that his team needs to bounce back like America did following the catastrophic attacks of 9/11. Was it a bit drastic of a comment? Maybe, but Iron Bowl was the following week and we just lost to ULM 21-14.

I officially declare this season's mission of Alabama Football as ZeroDark30. Time to take out Dabo Bin Laden once and for all.    



p.s. I don't know dick about politics but I do know those people not passing the law helping 9/11 victims bill or whatever it is fucked up the second they let Jon Stewart walk through those doors. Fuck those politic people, do the right thing. 

Wednesday, June 5, 2019

The Steele of the Portal

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All transfer portal roads lead to USC. This recruit class has been a headache so far playing leap frog with programs. The Bru McCoy thing is exhausting. To sum it all up in one sentence Bru McCoy signed to USC, Kliff Kingsbury left, Bru follwed him out the door to Texas, Texas rubbed USC's nose in it, Bru re-enters the transfer portal after a few weeks at Texas, Sam Ehlinger (QB1) and Tom Herman (HC) fly out to Bru to try to Mavs/Clippers DeAndre Jordan him, doesn't work, he wants to go back to USC where he originally started *exhale*.
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Chris Steele is now on his third school since enrolling with Florida on January 5th. I believe it's not being talked as much as Bru McCoy for two reasons. 1. Bru is a higher ranked recruit than Chris,
2. His transfer from Florida involves a teammate's sexual misconduct and I'm sure the NCAA doesn't want to keep reminding everybody of that. 

So who is Chris Steele? Chris is a highly sought after CB, ranked 42nd overall by 247 Sports, who enrolled with the Gators in early January. During his time in Gainesville his roommate Jalon Jones was accused of sexual battery and it's rumored that Steele was named in the police report as a witness. That's when he decided to get the fuck out of Dodge. His Gator teammates didn't like that too much and subtweeted the shit out of him. 
Steele then decided to surround himself in a more positive atmosphere and verbally(?) committed to Oregon. He told the Athletic that he had a big brother relationship with their CB coach, Donte Williams. So it seemed like the Ducks added a top 50 recruit to their already historic recruit class. 

Now reports are coming out that Steele has changed his mind again. He's decided to head back to his hometown and play for USC. That's when I decided to write this blog. I wanted to rip him apart. I wanted to rip this recruit class apart and the transfer portal apart. I wanted to run outside, shake my fist at the clouds and scream "THESE DAMN KIDS!". Then I read Chris' article with the Athletic. Steele informed the Athletic that his mom recently was laid off and she has never missed one of his games. He said a plane ticket to Eugene, Oregon cost $400-$500. He said that his grandmother was helping to support his family but is now on dialysis. Chris Steele wants to transfer close to his home to help support his family, earn a degree, and play football. He's 18 years old. Sometimes as a rabid CFB fan I forget that these kids are just that, kids. I wish Chris Steele all the luck in the world and hope things work out in his favor. 

According to 247 Sports if both Chris Steele and Bru McCoy head to USC it will drop their Class Rank from 20th to 14th.  

Tuesday, June 4, 2019

Urban Cryer

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There's been a lot of speculation about Urban Meyer returning to coaching college football. Whether it's for UCLA or his beloved Notre Dame, most fans don't believe Urban's coached his last game. Why? Because he loves winning. He's done a shit ton of it. Urban Meyer is a top 20 coach in wins, the number one coach in win pct for three different schools (Ohio St, Florida, Utah), is 13-3 in 
Bowl games, and won three National Championships. Urban's pretty good at winning, but what was his worst loss? 

In an interview with the Columbus Dispatch, Urban Meyer said the 2015 Michigan St. loss at home was the worst of his career. When asked how much he thinks about the game he said, "Every day. I don't blame others. I blame myself. I could have done things better (as a coach) that day." I would make the argument that it sounds like there are other losses that he blames other people for but whatever. Take accountability for all your losses, Urbie. 

Michigan St. came in to that game ranked 9th in the country and the defending champ Buckeyes were ranked 3rd. Fans were claiming that Michigan St. was overrated cause they barely beat a stinky Rutgers and Purdue. Ohio St hadn't really done shit either besides beat Penn St, but they were finishing their year with three straight ranked opponents; starting with the Spartans. 

This Buckeye team hosted NFL stars like Joey Bosa, Zeke Elliot, and Michael Thomas. I'm not really sure how they ever lost. But they did. Michigan St beat them 17-14. JT Barrett was 9-16 with 46 yards, Zeke was held to 33 yards on 12 carries, and Michael Thomas caught two passes for 8 yards. Ohio St only had 5 first downs the whole entire game. 

After the game the team imploded. Zeke ran to the media to trash the play calling and accuse coaches of killing momentum. It turned out to be the ultimate momentum killer because that game would wind up being the difference maker for the playoffs. A one loss Michigan St. got in over the one loss Ohio St., changing the course of college football history. Oh what could have been. 

For anyone keeping score at home Alabama played Michigan St. in the first round of the playoffs that year and decapitated them 38-0. 

Things Have Not Been Going Well For Chris Evans Since The End of Avengers

Chris Evans is having a rough go it. He was suspended by the school, not the football program, for academic reasons. B/R reported that Evans lost his scholarship, is no longer enrolled at the school, and is currently a delivery driver for a local gyro joint. What the fuck could he have done that they kicked him to the curb so harshly. Evans claims that it wasn't his grades but an "academic mistake". He's gotta be a cheating sonovabitch. Which is really really not good for the Michigan. The NCAA loves sanctions, they hate cheating. 
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The NCAA banned the Mizzou football, baseball, and softball from the postseason for one year, docked scholarships, and placed recruiting restrictions all because a tutor said she did a couple of athletes homework. No shit you did their homework, that's exactly what I thought you were doing. If it turns out Chris Evans is in similar boat, then the ship might sail for Ann Arbor. 
Evans is a former 247 4 Star recruit and has totaled 2114 yards and 16 touchdowns for the Wolverines. He won't be eligible to play until 2020.

Celebrity Death Match: Francesa vs Finebaum

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IN THIS CORNER THE CHALLENGER COMING IN AT 6'3" 115 POUNDS,  PAUL "PAWL FINEGOD" FINEBAUMMM 

Finebaum has taken an unprovoked jab at the King in the North, and it's not the first time. During Paul's Thursday show he snuck in a dig at Francesa falling asleep. Matt in Texas called in who Paul introduced as a young man looking to start studying sports journalism. Finebaum suggested that maybe he'll mentor him, but he wants ol Matty Tejas to bigger than everyone. That prompted this quote from the Southern Sultan, "I want him to aspire to be higher than what I've done. I want him to be like Bob Costas, or Stephen A. Smith or Mike Francesa. Somebody that you get your own show, you make millions of dollars and you sleep half of the show away." After five seconds of literal radio silence from Finebaum he slipped in a "Nothing wrong with that". 
So Mike took a little cat nap on air once or twice, big whoop. 
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This isn't the first time the southern and northern kingdoms have collided either. Back when Mike took a snooze in 2014 this is what Paul had to say, "I never like to make guarantees but one thing I won't do is fall asleep while doing the show." Throw that shade son! 
FINEBAUM FINISHER: THE CHOMP
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AND IN THIS CORNER, THE CHAMPION COMING IN AT 6'0", 230 POUNDS, MIKE "NUMBAH ONE" FRANCESAAAA
Since coming out of retirement Mike has been a bit more sensitive to rocks being thrown at the throne. Where the old Mike used to just sweep beefs under the rug, he's more prone to clap back in his old age.  The "Oh who cayes" days might be behind us. 

  
It's time to settle this once and for all. The King of Southern Radio vs the King of Northern Radio. In the ring. LETS GET IT ON!
FRANCESA FINISHER: THE CUNCEL 

Wednesday, May 29, 2019

Return of the Kings


For the first time in 13 years every SEC coach is returning to their post. It's important to note the last time this has happened was in 2006. The following year Nick Saban will be hired as the next head coach at the University of Alabama and change the standard for coaches in the SEC forever. Winning won't be enough anymore, you need to stuff the trophy cases or get left behind. Here's how many coaches each SEC team has had since 2006. 

Kentucky- 3 Rich Brooks, Joker Phillips, Mark Stoops 
Georgia- 2 Mark Richt, Kirby Smart 
Florida- 6 Urban Meyer, Will Muschamp, DJ Durkin (Interim), Jim McElwain, Randy Shannon (Interim), Dan Mullen 
South Carolina- 3 Steve Spurrier, Shawn Elliot (Interim), Will Muschamp 
Missouri- 2 Gary Pinkel, Barry Odom 
Vanderbilt- 4 Bobbie Johnson, Robbie Caldwell, James Franklin, Derek Mason 
Tennessee- 6 Phillip Fulmer, Lane Kiffin, Derek Dooley, Jim Chaney (Interim), Butch Jones, Brady Hoke (Interim), Jeremey Pruitt  
Texas A&M- 7 Dennis Franchione, Gary Darnell (Interim), Mike Sherman, Tim DeyRuter (Interim), Kevin Sumlin, Jeff Banks (Interim), Jimbo Fisher 
LSU- 2 Les Miles, Ed Orgeron 
Miss St- 4 Sylvester Croom, Dan Mullen, Greg Knox, Joe Moorhead 
Ole Miss- 4 Ed Orgeron, Houston Nutt, Hugh Freeze, Matt Luke 
Arkansas- 7 Houston Nutt, Reggie Herring (Interim), Bobby Petrino, John L Smith, Bret Bielema,  Paul Rhoads (Interim), Chad Morris
Auburn- 3 Tommy Tubberville, Gene Chizik, Gus Mahlzahn 
Alabama- 2 Mike Shula, Nick Saban

During Saban's reign, six SEC Coaches of the Year have been fired; Will Muschamp, Jim McElwain, Kevin Sumlin, Sylvester Croom, Gene Chizik, and Les Miles. Appreciate your returning coach while you can because I guarantee they won't all be there this time next year. 

Tuesday, May 28, 2019

Art of the Deal

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Big week for Arts. Artie Lange is back in handcuffs and Art Briles is back on the gridiron. But only one should actually be considered a criminal. According to Ryan Young of Yahoo Sports, in a lawsuit 31 of Art Briles' former players settled on 52 counts of rape from 2011-2014. But Briles was 40-12 in those season so he kept his mouth shut and let his program run wild. 

Briles lost his job in 2016 when multiple allegations of violence against women came to light. The Head coach's negligence to report the misconduct made him a conduit to multiple sexual crimes. Baylor let go of their Briles despite having 39 million left on his contract. 

Since 2016 Art has been trying to weasel his way back into football. The closest he came was to the Southern Miss offensive coordinator job. Southern Miss up until this point was really only known for Brett Farve, so clearly they were used to turning a blind eye towards sexual misconduct. Good for the campus though, the community of Hattiesburg put enough public pressure on the AD to veto the Head Coach's decision to bring on Briles.  

Art Briles was hired by Texas high school Mount Vernon on Sunday. Why you may ask? 
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Rivalry Bru'in

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What are we to do with Bru. Bru McCoy was ranked as the 9th overall recruit in the 2019 recruit class by 247 Sports. For those of you who don't know, Bru committed to USC during the All-American game on January 5th of this year. He enrolled early and was even already attending classes. Kliff Kingsbury was the offensive coordinator at the time of Bru signing his letter of intent. Three days later Kliff hit them with the ol' well actually it's been a cool month here but I'm gunna go coach the Cardinals and draft Kyler Murray instead. That's when Bru was like wtf dude, that's shitty, now I'm gunna go to your rivals and become a UT Longhorn. So USC lost their offensive coordinator and top recruit in the matter of days all because Kyler fricken Murray decided to play football instead of baseball. 

Bru commits to Texas on January 25th which prompted this awesome tweet from the Longhorn's QB, Sam Ehlinger: 
This league! Am I doing that right? Texas and USC still hate each other over the Greatest Game Ever Played (that's right, fuck you Shia Labeouf), the 2006 Rose Bowl, Vince Young vs Reggie Bush. So, ballsy move by Bru McCoy to jump ship like that but he's still like an 18 year old kid so whatever get off his back. 

That's how I did feel. DID. Now USCFootball.com is reporting that Bru McCoy is considering re-entering the transfer portal to head BACK to USC. 
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Reading up on Horns247, it sounds like no one is really sure why McCoy would want to leave. Bru is liked by his teammates, and he holds his coaches in a high regard, and was poised to make an immediate impact by inheriting Lil'Jordan Humphrey's target shares. So what's the deal? Maybe it's because his immediate eligibility appeal isn't going so well. Since he enrolled in classes at USC I think he's supposed to sit out a season. If he goes back to USC can he play right away? Is that it?

Or maybe Bru's just freaked out that Tom Herman won't stop smoochin him. If that's the case Bru, I don't want you to feel uncomfortable. Follow your heart, you know like Coach Herman said when you transferred, "I applaud Bru and his courageousness to say 'Hey this is not where my heart is and I'm going to do something to change that." Maybe he forgot his heart in Los Angeles? 

Whatever the outcome of this is, one thing is evident. Players are addicted to the transfer portal and the NCAA needs to do something about it. Quick.  

A Young Memorial

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This past weekend for many of us was filled with summer houses, solo cups, bikinis and bong rips. A celebration? Mourning? Who knows. But the reason we're able to miss work/school on Monday and drink our faces off all weekend is because of the men and women who have sacrificed their lives for generations in order to give us the right to do so. Meet Young Bussey.
Young Bussey was QB1 for the LSU Tigers in 1937 and 1938. He led the team in passing and rushing all the while continuing his milk route to provide for his family. Bussey was terrorizing D's, laying the D, delivering Vitamin D, and getting straight As to graduate with a degree in petroleum engineering. He went on to be drafted by the Chicago Bears. 

In his one year as a professional, Bussey played both sides of the ball, was selected to the All-Star game, and helped the Bears to a championship win over the Giants. The final game of the season was December 7th, 1941. The day Japan bombed Pearl Harbor. Legend has it that's when Young Bussey decided to enlist in the Navy. 

Young Bussey soon became Lieutenant Bussey. He fought in the Battles of Guam, Kwajalein, Peleliu, Leyte, and Luzon. Young Bussey sacrificed his life in the Battle of Lingayen Gulf at the age of 27. A Japanese mortar struck his landing craft and his bodied was never recovered. 

Young Bussey's biography Young Bussey Young Stud: An All-American Legend by Ralph B. Cushman is availible on Amazon. 

So I hope you enjoyed your beer this weekend, enjoyed the sun, enjoyed the beach. Just remember the American badasses that couldn't to make sure that you could.  


Tuesday, May 21, 2019

Hand Crafted Burgers

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If we get in fucking trouble because Da'Shawn Hand said he used to sell burgers in Tuscaloosa for $5 a pop I'll have an aneurysm. Burgers sounded pretty bangin, don't get me wrong. Egg, swiss cheese, Sweet Baby Ray's glaze and seasonings that African-American twitter has repeatedly reminded me I've never tried before. I'd throw a fiver at that. But keep your trap shut DaShawn. 

Now I'm no lawyer so I'm not going to pick apart the  language of the NCAA bylaws but I am aware that student-athletes can't sell their autographs, jerseys, and stuff like that. So does selling burgers fall in that category? Not for me to decide. But it would be fitting for Da'Shawn Hand to upset me even after he's left campus. He's only ever been a disappointment. In four years and thirty-four games with the Tide, the former 5 Star and 6th overall recruit only recorded 71 tackles and 9 sacks. Hand was drafted by the Lions in the fourth round, to live out his days in Detroit and spill all our secrets. 

Tuesday, May 14, 2019

Florida Georgia Crime

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Clear your schedule for November 2nd cause things are getting fuckin chippy in the Southeast. Dan Mullen is talking hella shit for a team who lost 36-17 to Georgia last year. He's become addicted to taking shots at Kirby Smart's program. I'm not sure he could stop even if he wanted to at this point.  

Is Dan Mullen justified in talkin that shit? Maybe. He turned a 4-7 team into a 10-3 team in one year. Plus the Gators beat the breaks off Michigan in the Peach Bowl 41-15. Yeah they lost to Georgia last year but most of that team weren't players he recruited. This year Mullen brought Georgia back into the top 10 recruiting classes for the first time since 2014 (per 247 rankings). 

Here's a timeline of Dan clowning the Dawgs:

- "Listen, winning one SEC Championship doesn't make you a dominant program, you know what I'm saying? In two of the last three years, we've been to the SEC Championship Game. So even a blind squirrel finds a nut every one in a while." Calling Kirby a blind squirrel for taking a two year team to an SEC Championship and then the Natty (runner up) is just too funny to not tip your cap.

- "I'd think we did a poor job recruiting if guys were coming in and then immediately walking out the door because it was something different than what they thought it would be and we lied to them during recruiting, or we sold them on a dream that wasn't true." Ricochet shot on Justin Fields transferring from Georgia after only one season. ESPN had Fields rated as the number one overall recruit. 

- Dan Mullen said that there was 39,476 people in attendance for their spring game and that the number was significant to a rival. It's been 39 years and 476 games since Georgia last won the National Championship as per the FloridaGators Reddit page. Good for whoever figured that one out cause I mean, come on. I didn't know there was gunna be math?

- Georgia scheduled a home-and-home with FSU in 2027 & 2028 which is absurd in its own right but heres Mullens take on it, "We play Florida State every year, right? Georgia is playing them. They're trying to catch up to us, I guess. Toughen their schedule." 

Ok so it isn't exactly a great timeline cause I don't have the dates but whatever he still said that shit. Take a breath Dan. He can't see a microphone without thinking of Georgia and the CFB community is starting to come down on him for it. This is what Paul Finegod had to say about it on Birmingham radio show, The Roundtable, "It's devastating, primarily because of Dan Mullen's mouth. He's been running it for months, frankly, he's been running it since he was born. I was in his office three and a half weeks ago, I heard him running his mouth about Georgia and it caught up to him and now all those people who have been sitting around going 'I wonder why he's doing that?' are turning on him." Kind of a snake move out of the Finebaum camp if you ask me. Being on the show is one thing but him making comments in the trust tree of his office shouldn't be made public knowledge. 

Kirby has had plenty of opportunities to retaliate with all the chaos currently happening in Gainesville, for instance: 
- As Jack Mac pointed out two weeks ago, Florida lost QB Jalon Jones to the transfer portal after he was accused of two sexual assaults that occurred within thirty minutes of each other.    
- CB Chris Steele who 247 Sports had ranked as Florida's number one recruit and forty-second overall prospect of the 2019 class also entered the transfer portal after being named in the Jones police report as a witness. 
-After the Steele debacle, Gator players tweeted and deleted posts like "If You're not a Gator...You're Gator Bait shhhhh!" That was tweeted out by Trevon Grimes accompanied by a picture of Grimes standing next to Steele on the ground with the football in his hands. 
-Not to mention Kirby has beaten Mullen in back to back seasons. He kicked the shit out of him with Miss St 31-3 in 2017, and then beat him again last year as a Gator.

Did Smart get slick? Nope. He could've trashed the program and trashed Mullen but he really only had one thing to say on the subject, "We like to talk with our helmets." Fuck, man. 171 more days.    

Monday, May 13, 2019

CFB Coaches Read Sort Of Mean Tweets

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https://twitter.com/CFAPeachBowl/status/1124022749956063237

So the twitter handle for the Peach Bowl has been tweeting out videos of our beloved coaches in the off-season. Think they're a bit out of their lane to be tweeting in May when their only job is to just have a game played after Christmas. But hey, it's sponsored by Chick-fil-a so expect nothing less than above and beyond. No days off. Except Sunday. 

The video in the above link shows Dabo Swinney, Gus Mahlzahn, Urban Meyer, Dan Mullen, Matt Luke, and Mack Brown reading mean things about themselves that people have tweeted. Problem is, that they're not that mean. 

For example: 
"Dabo Swinney looks like the kind of guy that would take church slow-pitch softball way too seriously." ZINGGG the reigning CFB Champion's coach looks like he's competitive. 
"Dan Mullen looks like he puts his shirts on with the hangers still in them." That's a complement. Very broad, only means Danny's brolic. 
"Mack Brown looks like a presidential candidate that I would not vote for." Translation- Mack Brown looks like he could have a very successful career in politics. 

Theres more but you get the point. They didn't even feel awkward reading them. 
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So I've compiled actually mean tweets for the Peach Bowl Twitter. Just in case they're ever able to corner these coaches in a country club again. 
That last one is such a classic dad joke. Love Rick bringing the heat. I knew what he looked like before even seeing his avatar.
 



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I don't know what that last one means but I'm pretty sure it's a dagger. 


The Suckeyes! For fucks sake, no wonder Urban retired. 

Fuckin Todd!? Dang, really coming at Dan's looks here. Can't wear Jordans to cover your face.

  

Good luck recruiting against the Bey Hive with your leaky douche tits, Gus. 



Luckily I found no mean tweets about Nick Saban, Roll Tide.