I Changed My Tinder Location To Tel Aviv

The picture is of Tel Aviv. I couldn't think of anything funny to put into google images for this. I don't know what I was expecting changing my Tinder location to Israel. I don't know what you're expecting by opening this blog, but I can tell you that it doesn't end with, "and we lived happily ever after".

During my never-ending boredom, I accidentally opened Tinder. Alright it wasn't an accident but this next part was. A promotion popped up on the screen to change your location to anywhere in the world at no charge. I thought I hit cancel but then an interactive world map popped up. I was going to x it out but then I figured, if it's for free it's for me. It took me less than a second to zero in on my targeted country. Israel, birthplace of Natalie Portman and Gal Gadot. My undisputed number 1 and 2, in that order. That's how I came to be on the virtual prowl in Tel Aviv. 

I'm always wrong time, right place or wrong place, right time. Right now it's the latter. My Tinder stock is way up in Tel Aviv. It's always good for the ol ego to receive that "A new person likes you on Tinder" notification. I'm getting sick of them, that's how well I'd do in Israel. 

Ran into a little a problem, I don't know what the fuck they're saying. Their writing in sanskrit or whatever. If you don't know what sanskrit is, imagine Michael J Fox writing in cursive. I can make that joke because I have really shaky hands and fairly certain I'm going to have Parkinson's one day. So yeah, I might not know exactly what Yael's saying, but I have a good idea. I'm pretty sure it's something along the lines of "Wow you look very handsome in your last picture!". So I responded, "Thanks that's from when I visited the Alamo with my cousin". She hasn't responded to that yet, but it feels like a pretty strong icebreaker. Ya know, cause of the whole territorial fighting thing.  

I don't know why I open Tinder, I've never been laid from it. I've never responded more than three sentences because I just picture the first date, start laughing, and close out the app. My level of attractiveness has nothing to do with it. Maybe that's why I put myself 5k miles away. I knew I'd get the same result as if it was 2 miles away. I'll be honest, I have no idea what my end game is here. Best case scenario, I end up with a hot pen pal like I'm in the third grade. Worst case scenario, I fall in love, Euro Trip myself and get mugged in the Middle East. I'll keep you posted.