I am on board for the Westworld train. I haven't been this involved in weekly discussions in between episodes since Game of Thrones went to shit. By involved I mean I just go on reddit and read theories and threads. It's hard for me to watch futuristic shows because I get extremely jealous. I won't be there for the future and it looks way better than our shitty world. So if this blog is ever uncovered in a time capsule or something, here are my suggestions for amusement parks.
Honorable Mentions:
Thronesworld- Would a Game Of Thrones world be sweet? Tough to say after they didn't stick the landing. As far as accommodations would go, everywhere would stink. I mean literally, they used to poop everywhere and not brush their teeth. Would it be fun to kill some of the characters you didn't like? Sure. Saving characters you love would be awesome too. Like giving Ned a heads up or helping Robb reach King's Landing. Damn, I'm starting to talk myself into this making the list. But I'm sticking to my guns. There would be too many perverts. The worst would be the amount of people "ironically" using this as their wedding venue thinking they're funny.
Marvelworld- DC can piss off, they've been getting their balls kicked in since Christopher Nolan left. You might think that a superhero park would be sweet but the logistics of it wouldn't work. Westworld is possible because you're still a human after all. They can't change the guests, only the world they enter. It isn't possible to just make you into a superhero. You can't all of a sudden fly, or shoot webs and climb buildings. Opening a Marvelworld would only give you a front row ticket to a superhero comic. Still cool, but not good enough to make the list.
Starworld- Star Wars World is just too marble mouth so I shortened it. Much like my superhero argument, not being able to use the force would just be too frustrating. Imagine hunting down Darth Vader in the park only to try and kill him without the force? You'd get force choked straight to hell. The visuals would be gorgeous, the lightsaber fights would be dope, and the nostalgia would be sweet, but I wouldn't be able to get over the lack of midi-chlorians.
6. Jurassicworld
It's one word as to not get confused with the movie. Jurassicworld would bring Jurassic Park to life with the guarantee of surviving. The first day you arrive, the dinosaurs should be only observed like the original park intended. During your stay, all hell breaks loose and you have to figure out the best strategy to protect yourself. I never got into hunting, but if you're into that sort of thing, this would be your chance to take down a T-Rex.
5. Adamsworld
No not like an Adam Sandlers world, that would be silly. Although....well nevermind. Adamsworld as in Douglas Adams, the British satirist who specialized in science fiction. He's been popping up quite a bit during this pandemic for his Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy slogan, "Don't Panic". Since I never got in to Star Trek, and I already took Star Wars off the table, Adamsworld is my park for a chance at space exploration. Adams introduces an endless amount of worlds, cultures, and beings in his Hitchhiker's series. Marvin, the depressed android, would probably be my favorite host in the park. He's always saying shit like, "Why should I want to make anything up? Life's bad enough as it is without wanting to invent anymore of it", a real hoot. If you want to wander amongst the stars to fight aliens, flirt with another species, and be accompanied by dark British humor, this is the park for you.
4. WWFworld
You can choose to enter any era you like but I'd imagine the Attitude Era would be the best seller. Chop it up in the ring with the legends of the most electrifying show in sports entertainment. Get People's Elbowed, ride shotgun in Stone Cold's beer truck, face off with your buddies in a TLC match, join DX, or fight for the belt in a Hell In A Cell match. You could even set your fantasy draft orders by where you placed in a Royal Rumble. If the competition isn't your scene, create storylines with Vince. Imagine the night life in this place. Walking into the bar with The Godfather, partying with King and the Divas.
3. Wizardingworld
Based on the Harry Potter universe. This is my way around the issues I had with superheroes and Star Wars. Getting a wand would be so sick. Depending on your spells knowledge and wand technique, you could have the hosts react based on your magic comprehension. Quidditch, levitation, and shit like that would have to take a back seat. But based on how you use your wand, the world around you could still react. Compete in the Triwizard Tournament, get sorted into a Hogwarts House, play wizard's chess, become an auror (wizard FBI), or join Voldemort if you're a sick fuck. I wouldn't do that, but I'd probably be a Slytherin. The hosts would be made up of witches, wizards, dementors, centaurs, dragons, trolls, giants, hippogriffs, goblins, and a bunch of other crazy shit JK Rowling cooked up.
2. Pokemonworld
I had this as my number one but changed it at the last second. Pokemon is the biggest entertainment franchise in the world. It's a 92 billion dollar company. I've dreamt of this since I first entered Professor Oak's lab on my Gameboy. Becoming a Pokemon trainer, completing your Pokedex, and collecting gym badges would become the most competitive sport in the world. It would give you the perspective on a world that a screen can't deliver. Picture going for your first badge and battling a 30 ft Onix. And Legendary Pokemon? Limit them to one each just like in their world. If you catch one you're instantly famous. You'd have to worry about billionaires collecting all the legendary birds, sure. But that was basically the plot for Pokemon 2000 and Ash made that dude his little bitch boy.
1. 90'sworld
I'm aware you could do this with every decade, but this is my list so fuck you. Creating this world would possibly become like a drug. That's a risk I'm willing to take. The variations to the hosts are endless. I'm just going to rattle a bunch of ideas off in one sentence. Become best friends with The Fresh Prince, ladies take your shot at Zack Morris or Slater, guys take your chance at Kelly Kapowski, spend Halloween in the Goosebumps, celebrate Christmas making booby traps with Kevin McAllister, play baseball with the Sandlot crew, go bowling with the Big Lebowski, party at the Playboy Mansion, join Fight Club (just don't talk about it), jam out with Wayne's World, go shopping with the Clueless cast, play in a Nickelodeon gameshow, or help Lloyd and Harry hunt down Mary Swanson. Eat 3D Doritos and wash it down with Squeeze-Its or an Ecto Cooler Hi-C. If you have an itch for violence, like these parks tend to bring out in people, murder the Columbine shooters, Timothy McVeigh, or Michael Jackson. The hosts won't know why you're killing them and you could live life on the run. There are too many possibilities for this not to be number one. The 90's were the peak of human history, just ask the machines from The Matrix.
Well, that's all folks. I'm sure I'll think of more worlds once I publish this but that's just the way it goes. What parks would you like to see created?
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