The title is pretty aggressive so I want to clarify something, I don't hate Earth. I just hate it's day. Earth Day used to be cool when it was just kids picking up trash and planting trees. Now it's a day spent with flooding my Twitter feed with articles yelling at me for things I don't even know I'm doing wrong.
I'm a good recycler for the most part. I'm not great. Sometimes that tin togo container throws me off. I don't know where that or it's plastic cover goes. But like cans and glass I have on lock. I hate littering. I've been made fun of because I wouldn't let my dirtbag friends throw trash out of my car window. I'm rooting for Earth, it's easily my favorite planet. My thing is, actual scientists who study this stuff have been trying to stop global warming for decades. What the fuck do you think I can bring to the table? If you want change I can't help you, it needs to come from up top.
If there's Girl Scout cookies in the house I'm going to eat them. I know I'm overweight but that's what I do, cause it's there. That's how I feel about saving the world from global warming. Pretty sure people said cows aren't helping because we're overbreeding them for food. Something about their farts. Ok, well, you haven't taken burgers off the menu so I'm still going to order the Angry Whopper when it comes back. Planes are putting bad things in the sky? Stop offering me travel packages then, and it's not like you'd rather I'd drive there. Cars are bad right? You still sold me a car. I can't not drive. Is this what Elon Musk is pretending to do? Is he on top of this? When his car becomes more affordable I can pitch in that way.
Easily the worst is when people ask you, "Well don't you care about your children's children's children's children's children?". No I don't. And stop trying to trick me with that question. You don't care either and I'll prove it. You don't know the name of your great great great grandparents. Why? Because nobody gives a shit about family that far removed. Don't worry they also don't know your name because they don't care about you either.
Your vacation pictures with the Save the Earth captions aren't liberating. You're spreading thirst, not awareness. So, thank you ladies for the bikini pics from St. Lucia but I'd put more energy into saving your globes than our own.
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