My head has been in a weird place lately. I beat The Last Of Us II and finished watching Dark on Netflix all within the same week. It's taken a toll on my overall mood, so it's time to get back to normal. Nothing in my life is more normal, more constant, than nosebleeds.
I'd say that I average about five nosebleeds a week. It's been that way since I was around seven years old. My Dad used to tell me it was because I picked my nose too much. While I'm sure that didn't help, I'm pretty sure I just came with a defective nose. As a grown adult my nose shouldn't still bleed this much. I've heard everything from a suspected cocaine addiction to "Maybe instead of your vagina, God put your period in your nose". I could write a Dr. Seuss book on all the places I've had a nosebleed.
My nose has bled in a boat, while driving, while sleeping, while it was my turn to read out loud to my sixth grade class onto my textbook, during a school basketball game, during a funeral, once while surfing deep out in the ocean in Hawaii, in a bar, and mid-coitus.
My one buddy has never had a nosebleed. I even watched him break his nose once and not a drop. It's like a superpower. I have a theory that this kid hates attention so much that his blood just sucked itself back inside his brain. I on the other hand love attention, which is probably why I was dealt this kryptonite. I've been working hard to go unnoticed with my bloody noses during the virus. When people see me with a red stained clump of tissues to my nose, they look at me like I've brought the plague in the building.
I'm just trying to spread awareness for those of us with chronic nosebleeds. I'm aware that I could have my nostrils cauterized to soften the blow. But I heard a rumor that the operation could possibly change your tastebuds. That is a price I'm not willing to pay. So I'll keep fighting the good fight with a fistful of tissues, and a nasal cavity full of coagulated blood.
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