I'm writing this pretty late because I wasn't sure if I should blog tonight. It didn't feel appropriate with everything going on in the country and on Twitter. But the more I thought of it, the more I felt like I should bang one out. If someone is looking for a distraction and finds my blog, even it's for a few minutes, I guess that's something. Trust me, I don't think I'm doing God's work here, but if you want to read it it's available. Without further adieu, it's time to take down the nation's true enemy, Salt Bae.
Salt Bae first went viral for slinging his meat on Instagram and salting his steak like he's better than everyone else. He's a pompous prick. Salt Bae owns his own restaurant and will sell you a steak for $80 and judging by his videos, try to sleep with your date in the process. Which really shouldn't be much of a shock for us 90's kids, since he looks exactly like Wandisimo. If you aren't familiar, Wandisimo was a fairy in the Fairly OddParents with a shocking amount of sexual charisma for a Nickelodeon character. A character who always tried to sleep with the main fairy's wife. See the bottom for a comparison, it may shock you.
After this pandemic, Salt Bae is toast. I know that most cooks will still be touching my food barehanded in the kitchen but out of sight out of mind. Nobody wants Salt Bae's elbow shrapnel in their food. Germs. Put the salt on with out being a jackass, there's no need to bounce it off your elbow. I mean, I've heard of putting in elbow grease before but this is ridiculous...
No comments:
Post a Comment