Most kids tell crazy stories about their dads that aren't true. My issue was never if the story was made up, but whether I was allowed to tell it or not. I know everyone thinks their dad's stories are true, but my dad always had accomplices. He wouldn't do something without witnesses, for him, it'd be a waste of doing something astonishing. Two things you need to know about my dad for this story, he loves the Yankees and he has balls of steel. This is the story of how he snuck into the Yankees World Series dinner in '96 and '98.
Dad really really loves the Yankees. His first choice for my name was Don, after Don Mattingly. After my mom vetoed that, he went with his second choice, his own name. During the 90's my dad, my uncle, and their two friends went splitsies on an RV that they used to travel to their season ticket games. The whole thing was decked out in Yankees and the paint job was pinstripes. The bottom of the toilet was the Red Sox logo. They've had Steinbrenner (George and Hal), Giuliani, Torre, and countless players take pictures in and out of the "YankeeMobile". They were even asked to ride in the Yankee's World Series parade, twice. They were always getting into shit.
After I believe the '96 World Series, they found out the hotel where the Yankees were holding their championship banquet. As fate would have it, one of their compadres knew a security guard in the hotel. He got them up to the floor where the banquet was being held and then basically said you're on your own from there. They were in suits but didn't have passes to access the dinner. My father was watching people in vests walk into the swinging doors in the hallway and come out in the banquet hall. It was the kitchen. He told my uncle and his friends to follow his lead and above all, act like you belong. They put linens over their sleeves, walked into the kitchen like they owned the place, grabbed some trays of food and walked out into the Yankee's World Series dinner. They met the players and ate fancy dinners, while the Yankees were going around signing autographs.
The '98 dinner was a bit trickier. Their inside man told them that they had upped security and that there wasn't much he could do for them. Dressed to the nines they stayed in the crowds and waited for their moment. When Joe Torre decided to do a press conference they used it as a distraction to get into the elevator. Since they knew what floor the hall was on from their previous dinner they had no trouble there. Out in the hallway, they once again found themselves unable to get through the main entrance. The kitchen was blocked off this year, a squandered trip to NYC seemed evident. The lucky bastards, Bernie Williams decides that he needs to use the bathroom in the hallway and that it couldn't wait until he got inside the banquet hall. My dad saw opportunity. He said that the hotel security was there but they were overwhelmed. So my dad goes up to the bathroom entrance, screams out my uncle and his friend's by name, and goes "We got it from here, boys no one gets into that bathroom while Mr. Williams is using it". They were pretending to be security. When Bernie got out he was rushed by the crowd and my dad yelled "Mr. Williams will be happy to sign autographs once he's inside. Right now folks, we need to get him to his seat.". They made a path and walked right through the front door with Bernie Williams.
Happy birthday Dad, you crazy old man. Love you.
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