Thursday, May 21, 2020

I Know Something You Don't Know

Him too : kotakuinaction2 


If you have sports updates on your phone then I'm sure you've heard by now that an unidentified NFL player is suing United Airlines for an alleged sexual assault that they failed to put an end to. John Doe 1 said that a possibly inebriated female made unwanted sexual advances towards him during his LA to Newark flight. It took United four complaints and an hour into the flight to change the alleged's seat. She was grabbin his dick and shit. I know John Doe 1, he's a friend of mine.

I am drunk with power. Is this what the President always feels like? Just knowing the information that the rest of the country can only guess at? I got this notification on my phone.... and I know the big secret. I've seen this on Barstool, Sports Illustrated, ESPN, The Times, The Post, USA Today, and so on and so forth. What a rush.  

To be totally transparent, I'd classify us more as "boys" than I would "friends". We're in the same friend group and he's close with people I'm close with. We were with each other two weekends ago though, watching the UFC fights. I was getting him all fired up. I mean, I was really trying to get in his head about high school sports hypotheticals. I wouldn't of tried to upset him so much if I knew he had been a sexual harassment victim.  

It's so strange but so awesome to see someone you know getting ripped by Francesa. It was obviously a terrible take by Mike, laughing at John Doe 1 for "not being able to protect himself" as an NFL player from a female passenger. What the fuck was he supposed to do? Blast this chick in the face? That would've been the headline and the end of his career. But I understand the comedy of the visual. I'm a fan of humor in a dark situation. But since this is somebody I know personally, I can't joke about it. Like I can't say something like "Are you ready to be the face of the NFL #HeToo movement". That would be despicable.   

Seriously though, I do feel sorry for him. When this gets out I imagine it won't be easy to face in a locker room. It's clearly something he wanted to keep under wraps. He didn't tell us about his lawsuit. One of our mutual buddies sent us The New York Post article and said "yo this is Blah Blahblah". Which I responded, lol fuck you. But then my friend said he wasn't kidding and told us to seriously read the article. The Post, those big dumb dumbs, put the NFL players hometown in the original article. They removed it now, but it was too late, the damage had been done. There is only one NFL player in my small New Jersey hometown. And I'm not telling.

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