I like being angry, I can't help that. I'm not in a good mood unless I'm in a bad mood. I don't even know if that makes sense but I'm sticking to it. I think there's other people like me, so I've compiled a couple of things that pissed me off today. I hope there's other people like me? Oh, and I call mental health! Now you can't say "angry white male privilege" after reading this. Nana nana poo poo this is my therapy. Sorry, beat ya to it.
Positive Instagram Story Person.
This could be a number of people- pyramid scheme employee, personal trainer, or in my case, girl from college trying to start a life coach company. At least I think that's what she's trying to do. I want to be clear about something. This isn't just a nice person trying to drop a little positivity in your otherwise gloomy world. I'm talking about the people who only post annoyingly chipper tips on how to better your life. It isn't the positivity that bothers me either. It's the fact that they think they're going to get rich or famous off this. Stop lecturing me on how to be the best version of my self. You're unemployed making filtered videos from your parents' basement, worry about your own time management. Don't tell me you started a company either, you can't just declare company. Still, I watch. Just waiting for the day she realizes her dreams aren't going to cut it and posts an Instagram Live worth watching.
Twitter Accounts Trying To Stay Relevant
We see this with ESPN accounts a lot. That Steve Buscemi GIF with the backwards hat and skateboard really fucked things up for a lot of people. Today's victim is none other than Darren Rovell. Our buddy Darren posted a picture of a Baskin Robbins sign that read NO RELATION TO CAROLE BASKIN, with the caption "Sign Of The Day". It wasn't even his joke, he was just acknowledging it. Still drove me up a wall. There's just something about picturing a business person in a suit trying to Tweet something they believe the youngsters will get a kick out of.
F&R Auto
If you're too lazy to watch the video, I'll catch you up. A pizza delivery guy gets yelled at for mistaking extra money as his tip. What it sounds like is the pizza was $48 and they gave him $55. With the extra bill in the payment, the driver assumed they didn't want change and mistook the excess money as his tip. Well that wasn't flying with F&R Auto who called the establishment to complain about their delivery. Our protagonist, delivery guy, returns to the auto shop only to be berated by the employees. He basically says fuck your $7 I don't need it, and gives them back their petty cash. The F&R shitheads start threatening his job, one calls his restaurant to tattletale, and a female employee says she's going to shove her foot up his ass. Over seven dollars. This one actually has a happy ending. F&R, the big dumb dumbs, post their footage of the encounter thinking they were going to shame the pizza Robin Hood. F&R got Yelped to death and is now closed. The delivery guy, Jarrid Tinsey, made a shit ton of dough (get it?) from a GoFundMe somebody set up for him. He was flooded in $7 donations.
See, I feel a lot better now. So much so that I'll even say something nice. I'm rooting for Positive Instagram Girl. I can relate to chasing your dream while only getting your message across to a handful of of people. We may be contrary forces but we're both fighting for the same prize. In a weird way, her post worked. She was my initial motivation for this blog.
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