Monday, April 27, 2020

Do Presidents Use Cell Phones?

Trump's phone call with the Mexican president shows that he's ...

I'm sure a quick Google search could answer this but where would be the fun in that? This was one of my half-asleep random questions that popped into my head and I rolled over and threw it in my notes app. I don't know where it came from. I didn't have the TV on and I wasn't on my phone. The question just sort of appeared in my brain. 

Think about it. Have you ever seen a President on their cell phone? Strange to picture Trump as a desktop Tweeter. I guess people are always snapping pictures of them and it wouldn't be a great look if they were just scrolling and walking. It just seems weird that the person elected to represent us is left without the one tool that we all use to represent ourselves. 

I'm not an idiot, I understand the Presidential Cell Phone could create a blind spot for a security breach. That's what happened to Hilary's emails, right? Even scarier than Trump's emails being leaked would be his porn history. I'm sure that would leave a black eye on ol Lady Liberty. I hope Trump only searches porn parodies of himself. Is that a thing? It is. I just typed "Trump" into Pornhub and my goodness. I take it back.  

I hope there is a secret Air Phone One. A phone the President only uses to text his wife and ask her what she wants for takeout or some stupid shit. I doubt that's the case though. There's probably somebody in the Secret Service who's only job is to take the President's calls. That has to be a let down. Training your whole life as a badass, ready to take a bullet for the President of the United States if need be, and wind up a glorified secretary like "Mr. President, Baron's on the line he says he wants you to cancel school for the rest of the year." 

I don't know if I can live without my phone at this point. Especially knowing that these recent Presidents had a life of cell phones before entering office. How could you just give that up? If that's the price, I wouldn't pay it. I'm sure you've been wondering why I'm not the most powerful man in the free world, it's because I think I can't bring my iPhone with me. 

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