Monday, April 6, 2020

Survivor Should Have A Season With Only Homeless Contestants

Survivor (American TV series) - Wikipedia


I watched a lot of Survivor yesterday. Like all eight episodes of the current season, or whatever. I normally wait until the season is over to watch. With no sports on, my two Survivor buddies and I figured out a way to bet on the show. When everyone was caught up, we snake drafted the remaining contestants and whoever has the winner on their team, wins. During my catching up, it struck me that homeless people are playing Survivor every day, so what if we cast them for a season? 

Seems so obvious that I can't figure out why it hasn't been done. A cast of only homeless people on Survivor could make for some of the best reality TV ever produced. They've been unintentionally training their whole lives for this. CBS should do the right thing and give the homeless population the possibility at a new life with a million dollar purse. Let's break it down. 

My biggest hurdle on Survivor would be that I'm a big fan of eating, but I don't like seafood. Grosses me out. I've seen a dude in Penn Station pick lo mein out of the trash with his hands and eat it. You think homeless people are scared of a little hunger? They could probably go double the amount of days of a regular season on rice, coconuts, and a beach full of fish. 

Sophie on the latest episode of Survivor was crying over a little bit of rain in Fiji. The homeless population has been fighting the rain fight on the streets for centuries! They are not the same. No shelter? It's in the name motherfucker. Their whole life is no shelter! Give them a couple of cardboard boxes and they become architects. Imagine what they can do with bamboo.

The challenges would feature some of the most athletic feats ever seen on the show. Some people, not me, walk up to homeless people and tell them to do a flip and they just do it! Homeless people are forged differently. Their genetic makeup was built for harsh environments in fast pace. You ever seen that naked homeless guy running down the street do a flip mid-sprint? Here:   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qG1LG1gADog

As for the social game, we'd need to make it very clear that murder gets you automatically disqualified. I've seen two homeless guys come to blows over street corner territory where they hold their marker signs. Shanks are prohibited, but backstabbing is encouraged. Sometimes homeless people talk to no one. Now the possibilities of conversations with nineteen other contestants is endless. Or how crazy would this be, the camera pans to a contestant talking to themselves and they think they're in a four person alliance but the other three people don't exist! Imagine that blindside. Man, the drama in that camp would be insane. 

Would it be entertaining? Of course. Would it all be for a good cause? Absolutely. Fan favorites tend to have something real to fight for. Every contestant on Survivor:Vagrants would be fighting for the biggest life progression in the history of television. For those who don't win? Television has a way of taking people who you otherwise wouldn't help and make you set up a GoFundMe for them. If CBS has an ounce of integrity, they will give the homeless population something to strive towards. Make homeless people the newest contestants to get the chance to be America's next Sole Survivor. 

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