What Is The Statute Of Limitations On Being A Post Grad?

I guess techinically speaking after graduation you’ll always be post-grad. But you know what I mean. How long am I allowed to be a Workaholic character? How long does my buddy get away with wearing a snapback backwards on his head? At what point does the allure of my untapped potential of being fresh out of college fizzle away into being just a lukewarm contribution to society? 

There are two types of people after they graduate college. Those ready to tackle the world and those who understand that it just ended. 

Sometimes we talk about stories from college like they just happened and that we’re still dealing with the blowback. But shit man, some of that stuff was eight or nine years ago. We’ve been out for six. Fuck is this supposed to be my prime? By the standards I hold baseball players to it should be. Am I bust? 

It doesn’t feel so long ago because not much has changed. We still gamble over beer pong games, argue over cleaning up the hundred empty cans in the morning, and navigate dodging our parents when we’re hungover. 

But then again, my old roommate FaceTimed me from Germany yesterday to tell me how his conference that he’s running is going. Then he tried convincing me to come out for a week and we hashed out the logistics. The only thing that stopped me was my upcoming twenty day Europe trip in September. That’s not a conversation post grads have. That’s not a scene from Workaholics. Not even Ders went to Europe?

But his biggest selling point was how much we could drink and how he thinks I’d slay in Germany. So…

Where’s the line? I feel like our generation keeps moving the goalposts on adulthood. Birthed by the internet to fuck around too much which resulted in stunting growing up. 

When am I a grown up? When I have a kid of my own? When the movies stops giving me a discount from my decade old student ID? Is this why people go back for their masters? To re-up their potential facade and expand their prime window. Maybe I have to look into taking out another loan because right now I’m riding this thing til the wheels fall off.