Let’s get the mushy stuff out of the way. There are a lot of talented people on Barstool Idol who are going to make it very difficult for the judges to make decisions in the upcoming two days. With that being said, if I didn’t have the belief in myself to be the best of them I would have stopped sending these blogs years ago.
With all Barstool shows I consume, I play along. Try to beat teams to the punch on The Dozen, think of what I would say on a topic during The Rundown, and now, what content I would create on Barstool Idol.
It’s easy to be a Monday morning quarterback, I get that. That’s what my criticism would be reading this blog. But all of my solutions, answers, and ideas came either immediately of learning the challenge or within five minutes. I know I can’t prove that but all I can say is I swear to God.
Day One I absolutely would have gone the John Rich route. I’ve already daydreamed about doing this every time I’ve applied for Barstool Idol. I would choose my blog, 5 Insane Ways We Used To Flirt On The Internet. It’s not the best written blog in my arsenal, but some things are meant to be read instead of presented. This format gives me a list that would couple perfectly with a PowerPoint presentation. If you didn’t read the blog, the five ways with their own commentary are #WCW (Woman Crush Wednesday), Facebook Poking, MySpace Top 8, MMT Treatment (personal anecdote), and AIM Profiles. It’s easy to format, funny, relatable, and nostalgic - which always plays.
I had two ideas for the group video on Day Two. Since one idea required a specific makeup of male, male, female, I had another backup idea in case the the structure didn’t go in my favor.
Group Video Idea 1(mmf) : Video starts off with one of us saying something along the lines of “We have been making fools of ourselves during Barstool Idol in hopes of landing our dream jobs. So we decided to let complete strangers in on the fun witnessing our embarrassment. Where better than Times Square?” Then the camera would pan to us all dressed up in super hero outfits ready for a competition where whoever gets the most pictures with strangers wins. In a perfect world, it’d be myself vs Luke round one since we’re both bigger guys, and we’d give the girl a first round bye. The guys would incorporate body paint and look ridiculous while the girl would be like a knockout Wonder Woman or something. The two guys face off with a sign that says “Free Pictures Choose One” with arrows pointing to each of us. We’d incorporate super hero jokes and interact with the strangers taking pictures with us. Then whoever wins faces Wonder Woman in round two. The video just cuts to a million people taking pictures with her as her picture counter went up, and up, and up, and up as the guy stands there like a schmuck with 0 the entire time. For the final shot we grab like 20 dudes and have them line up to take a picture with whoever’s dressed as Wonder Woman. The camera goes slow-mo showing the length of her line and then cuts to a behind shot of the guy with nobody in front of him saying “Step on up whenever you’re ready.”
Group Video Idea 2: I’d call it Stool Science. Sort of like ESPN’s old “Sports Science”, but tackling the questions we’ve always wondered about ourselves. In this video we’d explore how many drinks it takes for us to be rendered blackout drunk. After each drink, each person would answer a funny and personal question about themselves written by the other members of the team. The questioning shot would be the face of only the team member giving an answer. The next day we’d review the footage and say which was the last question we remember answering. Then we’d give our height, weight, sex, and leave a chart for others to know where they might want to draw the line. Obviously, if Marcy was on the team she couldn’t drink. To compensate I’d have her write the majority of the questions. This would have made Yak basketball that much more difficult but it would also probably be hilarious if my entire team was hungover.
Obviously a lot of Day Three was interactions off the cuff so I can’t attest to what I would have said since I don’t know what I would have been asked. But what I would have control over would be interacting with Frank and my merch.
Frank is a delicate balancing act because you don’t want to come across like you’re teasing him. If you’re mean to Frank you’re a dickhead. But I think I could have him talking about funny topics related to his passion. Like asking him how he would feel about bringing in Theo Epstein to break the Mets’ curse. Or playing dumb about the Braves and asking him what the Tomahawk Chop is in hopes that he’d do it himself live on stream.
As for my merch, I think I have a fire shirt. Again retro/nostalgia always slaps. I’d construct one of those retro sports shirts that looked like ESPN threw up a bunch highlights on the fabric. I think they used to be popular with baseball and Nascar. Like this:
But instead of an athlete I’d do George Washington. With the Fourth of July right around the corner, I believe a graphic tee the first president crossing the Delaware and signing the Declaration of Independence would fly off the shelves to both genders.
Barstool has done a great job putting on Barstool Idol. I’m invested and can’t wait to see what Day Four has in store. I just hope those contestants know how lucky they are. Because I’d lie, cheat, and steal to be in any of their shoes.
No comments:
Post a Comment