Martin Shrkeli has had such an insane existence that going to prison and teaching a class on crypto to inmates while blogging about the future isn’t the craziest thing he’s ever done. I’d say it’s third behind raising essential drug prices +5,000% and buying a one of one Wu Tang album for $2 million.
As expected, Shrkeli’s touch with reality only grew further during his four year stint in prison. It’s evident that he spent his entire sentence reading Sci-fi to the point where he thinks he can predict the future. It’s a tough admission, but Martin and I have similar tastes. He reviews a lot of the books that I’ve read in my free time. Even in reviews his lack of self-awareness is astonishing. “Something about Issacson pisses me off. I’m not sure what it is.” A ballsy line coming from a guy who’s First-Team All-Punchable Face.
Shkreli released a blog on his site detailing his left field blueprint for the future. It’s outlined in eight sections. Here are the summaries of some of my favorite prophecies followed by my commentary.
1. Computing/Technology & Society
2025
A trend starts where we spend 8+ hours a day in our autonomous vehicles. Musk becomes the first trillionaire. - I like Musk, but I just know Martin’s one of those weirdies who worship him. There’s a massive massive gap between a billion and a trillion. Unless he cures cancer, sells everyone a personal robot, and declares himself King of Mars, I doubt Elon gets it done in three years.
2026AI tops Billboard charts as the first non-human created or edited song. - Isn’t this just Skrillex?
2035AI bipedal robots are commonplace. - I sure fucking hope so man. Make hangovers so much easier, count your days DoorDash.
2040 Robots win the World Cup. - Idiot idiot idiot idiot. I’m all for robot sports but if you think the lunatics who follow soccer or the NFL will ever allow non-humans into the sport you got another thing coming. It would make it like Ford vs. Ferrari where manufacturing supersedes talent. Where’s the fun in that?
2055The grand AI Civil Rights Movement including human/robot marriages. - I saw the new Blade Runner too, Martin. If I can get a robot that looks and sounds like Ana de Armas you won’t hear me complaining.
2100 Humans are on the brink of immortality. - Missed it byyyy that much! He also predicts that 2050 newborns will have a life expectancy of 100-125 and by 2080 it’ll raise to 150-200+
2. Socioanthropology, Religion, Philosophy, & Politics
2022-2040Fall of Russia, Belarus, North Korea, Syria, and Iran as we know it. No more dictators. - Just like that. Generations of tyranny and terrorism, defeated by Martin Shrkeli’s imagination.
2028First LGBTQ+ or woman President of the US. - Happy pride y’all.
2030-2040A largely relative war fought either nearly or completely autonomously. - Oh really Martin, you think so? A ten year window where a war will happen? No shit. When was the last ten year span with no wars?
2045 Marijuana is legalized. - Seriously? Of all the bold claims this might be the boldest.
2050Major sports (including NFL, NBA, MLB, NHL, and EU Football) viewership down 50% due to lack of interest and health concerns. Some leagues are disbanded and boxing is outlawed. - I think this is more wishful thinking from the guy picked last on the playground. It’s so obvious Shkreli has never watched a game in his life. We are still in the birth canal of legal gambling and fantasy sports - our leagues aren’t going anywhere.
3. Math/ComplexityI have no idea what any of these predictions mean so I’ll some them all up to a lot of things will be proven, apparently.
4. Quantum ComputingAgain, all gibberish. But it appears that shit will get faster. Swagger jackin Moore’s Law.
5. Electronics/Engineering/Hardware/Physics
2040 Human space flight to Mars. - I don’t think the flight is the issue as much as it is sustaining life there. Matt Damon taught me that.
2045 Either Musk or Bezos will announce they are permanently leaving Earth in favor of space exploration. No return trip plan. - By that time, Musk will be 73 and Bezos 81. That’s what they play for. When they’re ready to die, say fuck it I’m going looking for aliens.
2050 Human settlement on Mars or the moon. - This race would be so much cooler than the moon landing if Martin hadn’t killed off Russia ten years prior. First one to nuke Mars’ ice caps in hopes it creates greenhouse gases wins.
2100Extra solar system human settlement with population of 1m+. - Fuck I hope so, I think I’m chic for my upcoming Europe trip in September. Bachelor parties outside of our system would be so sick.
6. Money/Finance
2060JP Morgan or Bank Of America will be acquired by a crypto company. - I don’t know how that will happen since Shrkeli also predicts the Supreme Court will outlaw Bitcoin and crypto in 2025. Page out of Skip Bayless’ playbook.
7. Biology/Medicine/Chemistry
This is a lot of medical jargon I don’t fully comprehend. But Martin believes a lot of lives will be saved, treatments for muscular dystrophy and Alzheimer’s by 2041. And that by 2065 cancer will become rare. Funny, nothing about medication costing a billion dollars.
8. Computing
2060“Teleportation” of small molecules begins. - This is right around the time I’ll be clocking out if I didn’t already punch my ticket. I’ll be so pissed if I miss this. Getting home from the bar, getting food, traveling for vacations, poof! In an instant.
That’s it for reading the future for now. Shrkeli wrote this blog eight days before he was released from prison. His biggest present-time concerns were the state of his cat and his ban from Twitter. I don’t know about his kitty but still no Tweets. Even with a limited platform, Martin has vowed to continue to keep blogging. Personally, I can’t wait to see what Brostradomus comes up with next.
2035AI bipedal robots are commonplace. - I sure fucking hope so man. Make hangovers so much easier, count your days DoorDash.
2040 Robots win the World Cup. - Idiot idiot idiot idiot. I’m all for robot sports but if you think the lunatics who follow soccer or the NFL will ever allow non-humans into the sport you got another thing coming. It would make it like Ford vs. Ferrari where manufacturing supersedes talent. Where’s the fun in that?
2055The grand AI Civil Rights Movement including human/robot marriages. - I saw the new Blade Runner too, Martin. If I can get a robot that looks and sounds like Ana de Armas you won’t hear me complaining.
2100 Humans are on the brink of immortality. - Missed it byyyy that much! He also predicts that 2050 newborns will have a life expectancy of 100-125 and by 2080 it’ll raise to 150-200+
2. Socioanthropology, Religion, Philosophy, & Politics
2022-2040Fall of Russia, Belarus, North Korea, Syria, and Iran as we know it. No more dictators. - Just like that. Generations of tyranny and terrorism, defeated by Martin Shrkeli’s imagination.
2028First LGBTQ+ or woman President of the US. - Happy pride y’all.
2030-2040A largely relative war fought either nearly or completely autonomously. - Oh really Martin, you think so? A ten year window where a war will happen? No shit. When was the last ten year span with no wars?
2045 Marijuana is legalized. - Seriously? Of all the bold claims this might be the boldest.
2050Major sports (including NFL, NBA, MLB, NHL, and EU Football) viewership down 50% due to lack of interest and health concerns. Some leagues are disbanded and boxing is outlawed. - I think this is more wishful thinking from the guy picked last on the playground. It’s so obvious Shkreli has never watched a game in his life. We are still in the birth canal of legal gambling and fantasy sports - our leagues aren’t going anywhere.
3. Math/ComplexityI have no idea what any of these predictions mean so I’ll some them all up to a lot of things will be proven, apparently.
4. Quantum ComputingAgain, all gibberish. But it appears that shit will get faster. Swagger jackin Moore’s Law.
5. Electronics/Engineering/Hardware/Physics
2040 Human space flight to Mars. - I don’t think the flight is the issue as much as it is sustaining life there. Matt Damon taught me that.
2045 Either Musk or Bezos will announce they are permanently leaving Earth in favor of space exploration. No return trip plan. - By that time, Musk will be 73 and Bezos 81. That’s what they play for. When they’re ready to die, say fuck it I’m going looking for aliens.
2050 Human settlement on Mars or the moon. - This race would be so much cooler than the moon landing if Martin hadn’t killed off Russia ten years prior. First one to nuke Mars’ ice caps in hopes it creates greenhouse gases wins.
2100Extra solar system human settlement with population of 1m+. - Fuck I hope so, I think I’m chic for my upcoming Europe trip in September. Bachelor parties outside of our system would be so sick.
6. Money/Finance
2060JP Morgan or Bank Of America will be acquired by a crypto company. - I don’t know how that will happen since Shrkeli also predicts the Supreme Court will outlaw Bitcoin and crypto in 2025. Page out of Skip Bayless’ playbook.
7. Biology/Medicine/Chemistry
This is a lot of medical jargon I don’t fully comprehend. But Martin believes a lot of lives will be saved, treatments for muscular dystrophy and Alzheimer’s by 2041. And that by 2065 cancer will become rare. Funny, nothing about medication costing a billion dollars.
8. Computing
2060“Teleportation” of small molecules begins. - This is right around the time I’ll be clocking out if I didn’t already punch my ticket. I’ll be so pissed if I miss this. Getting home from the bar, getting food, traveling for vacations, poof! In an instant.
That’s it for reading the future for now. Shrkeli wrote this blog eight days before he was released from prison. His biggest present-time concerns were the state of his cat and his ban from Twitter. I don’t know about his kitty but still no Tweets. Even with a limited platform, Martin has vowed to continue to keep blogging. Personally, I can’t wait to see what Brostradomus comes up with next.
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