Corpsegrinder, The Claw Machine Hero

Never judge a book by it’s cover, especially if the title happens to be Corpsegrinder. I’m sure we all know Corpsegrinder, lead frontman for Cannibal Corpse. No? Its a country band. I’m kidding, it’s very obviously a death metal band. Never was my cup of tea, if I wanted someone to yell at me I’d leave my room when I’m hungover. But this guy is the man. 

While Cannibal Corpse is touring the country, Corpsegrinder is scouring the land for new claw machines to dominate. Now you might be wondering, what does a 50 year old lead vocalist of death metal band need little plush stuffed animals for? Well he does it for the the love of the game, but also he donates all his winnings to charity because he’s a legend. 

But take a look at his breakdown on clawin:

“I'm looking what's in there, and then I'm looking at how it's sitting inside of there. Is there something on top of it? Do I have to move that? As soon as I see how the claw reacts, I'll know if I'm gonna win. If the actual hands of the claw are set really loose, or maybe the machine has been used a lot, then sometimes stuff will just slip out.”

The guys a savant. There were even cheating accusations from his clawin videos posted on his Instagram (@georgecorpsegrinder). There are certain codes and cheats that claw mechanics use to guarantee a win to make sure the machines working properly. But not him, he’s just that good and I believe him. What would make you believe that Corpsegrinder isn’t a man of honor?

There’s only one rule. If you’re watching him perform, on a claw I mean not a stage, don’t say a single word until the prize has hit the bottom of the dropbox. Just because a prize is picked up doesn’t mean it can’t get lost on the transfer. Corpsegrinder admitted to once yelling at a child who celebrated too early about a Dale Earnhardt Sr. car that he was trying to win for his mother. None of us are perfect. Believe it or not, not even Corpsegrinder. 

So if you see Corpsegrinder on a claw do him, me, and the less fortunate kids he donates to a favor and just sit back, stfu and watch greatness unfold. Or run the risk of getting your corpse grinded.