Unfortunately Labor Day creeps closer and closer. You have 47 days to make your memories and mistakes. Part one was a resounding success so I figured I’d release a part two to get you over the finish line as painlessly as possible.
1. Know Your Offers And Restrictions
No matter which way you slice it, this is going to be an expensive summer. Be smart with where your money goes. Obviously everyone knows that Bar A has Beat The Clock on Tuesdays. But knowing that getting there before 8:00 saves you the $10 cover is better. With that ten bucks you just saved, you now bought yourself a free 20 beers in that first hour. Uber spikes at peak hours, everyone knows that. Knowing what the Wally is, is better. I took a Wally last weekend to and from Spring Lake to Point Pleasant. We fit 20 people comfortably and paid $7 each both ways.
Alas, it’s not all deals and rainbows. I spoke in Part One about avoiding peeing in public at all costs. Know your surroundings. You don’t want to find yourself in the negative over stupid fines. Like I did last weekend. I was unaware that there was no parking on Ocean Ave in Spring Lake from 3am-6am. They win this time. But it’s important to spread the word to avoid your friends making the same mistake.
2. Eat Dinner As A House
Camaraderie is an important part of the summer. You’re basically playing two reality shows at once: Jersey Shore and Survivor. Keep good with your tribe. Pizza and chicken fingers will get you through the summer. But my house every now and then made sure to do a hibachi trip or a big homemade Italian dinner. When in Rome. It’s a simple concept but it leads to less stupid squabbles in the house.
3. Don’t Get Hung Up On A Transplant
Transplants are people who visit for a weekend or two but don’t have a house themselves. I had a buddy of mine hit off with a roomate’s friend who was visiting from the West Village. She was taking his jokes in stride and giving them back darker than he dished them. She spent the night in his room. Despite my best efforts, he added her on Instagram the day after she left. We’ve all caught him DMing her but we don’t know for sure what the contents of the conversation are. I can’t prove it, but I know he’s asking her when she’s coming back every weekend. He’s hung up on a transplant and it’s caused him to sulk at the bars. She’s not coming back little buddy.
4. Don’t Be Afraid To Admit You Need A Break
There’s always that one asshole who’s calling you a bitch for skipping the bars that night. I know, cause it’s normally me. Hangovers get stronger as the years go on. I could probably do a whole section on making sure you have your hangover cure each weekend. But a breather is vital for the long haul. There’s no shame in having sober fun to reset your brain. Go to a boardwalk, win a jersey, ride a rollercoaster, play some mini golf. Whatever you need to do to get back in the fight.
5. Don’t Hookup With A Roomate
Every shore house I’ve rented has been coed. Every shore house I’ve rented had a couple blossom from being roommates. It’s a terrible idea. It immediately turns the house into a game of Battle Of The Sexes. You two will fight, that’s a guarantee. For the culture. Either someone will hit on her or him and all hell will break loose. It becomes a spite fest of who’s going out without who and sexing up a dance floor with strangers. It forces all the guys to have the guy’s back and all the girls to take the girl’s side. One of you will cry, often times it’s both. There’s no room for emotions at the Jersey Shore.
Again, enjoy yourselves, that’s what you’re there for. There are going to be nights where you make mistakes and wake up ashamed. Don’t be discouraged, that means you’re doing it right. When all else fails, remember, there’s always next weekend.
No comments:
Post a Comment