These are real people who posted these real stories without an ounce of embarrassment. I don’t know, I have 30 first cousins so I was made fun of a lot. The insults hurt worse than the wedgies, but it gave me a strong sense of self-awareness. Every day I see Instagram Stories that make me cringe. They’re these weird quotes with artsy or all black backgrounds. I was planning on collecting these for a week, but this is just today’s haul.
“They’re not supposed to understand you. You’re a different breed.” - Guy I know who spent three years in jail. He got out and still gets into fights at the bar at almost 30 years old. He’s right, I don’t understand him.
“‘Whats your favorite place?’ I don’t have a favorite place, I have favorite people. Wherever we go becomes my favorite place.” - Girl who didn’t understand the assignment. I hope you and your people find yourselves in a Russian prison. Have fun at your new favorite place!
“Work so hard that everyone’s biggest flex is that they know you.”- Former coworker who didn’t work hard at all. He stayed in Tuscaloosa after he graduated to be a bouncer for $11/hr. I don’t blame him, but he didn’t stay there for a bouncing career.
“Listen. Smile. Agree. And then do whatever the fuck you were gonna do anyway.” -Very on brand for girl with four kids with four different fathers. I can’t tell if she has no sense of irony or a firm grasp on it. If it’s the latter, I’d throw her number five.
“People brag about their drinking skills like it’s something impressive. Want to impress me? Try not drinking, sitting with your feelings, and improving your life.” - Guy who brags about how much coke he can do every weekend. His selling point is telling people how much more you can drink on it.
Do people my age not understand that these cheesy posts are the equivalent of their moms putting those cursive “Live. Laugh. Love.” stickers up in their living room? This type of shit is exactly why we’re getting torched on Tik Tok. No one finds you wise or inspirational. We think you’re weird and dramatic. Maybe it’s a “ignorance is bliss” situation and I’ve got this all wrong. But I highly doubt that.
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