I read somewhere once that if people were gambling on a coin flip and there were an equal amount of people betting on heads as there is tails, the handicapper would have to change the 50/50 odds. Makes sense right? If the amount of winnings equal the amount of losses, the house can’t win. So they throw little nuggets to entice you to one side or another. Rat lines, as they’re commonly known. I know they’re manipulating me, but I ate the cheese anyway.
How the fuck do they always know? I’ve never accepted “algorithms” as an acceptable answer. That’s cheating and they know it. There’s absolutely no reason for Aaron Rodgers to throw for four touchdowns and 385 yards only to lose to Kirk Cousins and a 4-5 Vikings team. What’re you some fuckin wizard? HOW DID YOU DO KNOW THAT?
In case you can’t tell the last three weeks have kicked my balls in. Since I was getting soo much wrong I decided to only bet heavy on one game. You guessed it, Packers. “And Eve bit the apple and suddenly knew she was naked.” It’s just.. I thought… you know, it was so low because Aaron hadn’t been playing so they were overcompensating for his drama and I would catch them slipping. I’m playing mind games with an invisible entity.
After the Packers game I went to the 7/11 across the street to get a bag of Tostitos. I ordered Skillet Queso from Chili’s and it got delivered with dip but no chips. Imagine the state of me then. Legally I think I could fight that kitchen to the death with no repercussions. The 50 something year old guy in front of me came in only for scratch offs. He was skinny and frail looking. He had dirt in his fingernails and holes in his sweatpants. I pitied him. Scratch offs seemed suddenly cruel to promise a life of grandeur to a man who would never see it fulfilled. On the way to our cars the man lit a cigarette and I hit my vape and we both left in our respective Hondas. Fuck.
I decided then to take a break from gambling. I vetoed my decision almost immediately when I realized Thanksgiving was this Thursday. I haven’t canceled the break, just postponed it. Might as well start ripping my sweat pants now.
Gamble Responsibly.
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