All friends groups have hypotheticals that surpass logic and reasonable timeframes. They’re born in barber shops, long car rides, and backyard tables at 3am. One hypothetical that gets constantly thrown in my face, even years later, is that I would rather fight Kyler Murray than a prime Ronda Rousey.
Some of these hypotheticals get so absurd and dragged out that their origins start to get muddied. This is how I remember the the Rousey/Murray feud beginning.
When Ronda was at her height, my friends and I gathered around the television for what we were all sure was going to be another one minute fight. It was. The anticlimactic finish and alcohol consumption forced me to create my own entertainment. So I told my “no days off” friend that Ronda would whoop his ass. As I made my list of legitimate reasons why, I was screamed at, berated, and called an idiot by a bunch of New Jersey Jets fans.
Cut to 2018, Kyler Murray’s senior year. Alabama is playing Oklahoma in the Orange Bowl and I’m watching the game with the same group of neanderthals. I’m so jacked up that I make a comment about how I could sack Kyler myself right now and promptly beat the shit out of him. Here’s what followed:
“Wait, wait, wait. Hold up. So you kick the shit out of Kyler Murray no problem?”
“Yes.”
“But you think Ronda Rousey would beat the shit out of all of us?!”
“Yes.”
Chaos ensues.
Lets break it down. Do I have bias against Kyler Murray as an Alabama fan? No I don’t, he just sucks. Quarterbacks are barely even used to being tackled now. Nevermind being punched in the face. What does Kyler do the second he sees human contact coming? Runs like a little bitch. Does he have 3 inches and about 70 lbs on Ronda? Yes. Will it matter? No.
We’re talking prime Ronda here. This is what these fighters do day in and day out. They get punched in the face, bleed out, bodies contorted in ways that make me think I broke something just by watching it. And at the time, Ronda Rousey was one of the best doing it. She was 10-0 in the UFC at one point with seven submissions and three KO’s. Only two of those ten fights went over the 1:00 minute marker. Ronda was sleeping people. She’s been training on her footwork, breathing, jabs, ground technique since a toddler. Ronda is slipping everything Kyler’s throwing and countering him right in the kisser. And I’m telling you right now, he sure as fuck doesn’t want to take her to the ground.
And how quickly we forget Oklahoma QB’s record vs mma fighters. Spencer Jones got molliwhooped by an mma trained Walker Brown in an Oklahoma bathroom like. Choked the fuck out and face smeared in pee pee.
I personally think Ronda could take Kyler on her feet. But if they get to the ground, his arm is hers in less than twenty seconds. He’ll never throw again. They’re not trained the same. They’re not built the same. Ronda’s mother was the first American to win a World Judo Championship! She was born with a damn umbilical wrapped around her neck! Ronda Rousey’s been fighting since her first fucking breath! There’s only so far you can run in an octagon. Packers money line tonight +220 I’M NOT FUCKING SCARED!
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