Monday, October 11, 2021

Demi Lovato Believes “Aliens” Is Derogatory Towards Extraterrestrial


In the first ever theoretical political correctness campaign that I can think of, Demi Lovato has instructed the public that it’s offensive to say “aliens” when referring to, well, aliens. Little green guys, big heads, long fingers, we’ve been mislabeling them this entire time. Even though the definition for alien is a foreigner, and you can’t be more foreign than off-planet. The ETs have yet to comment. 

This hot take is coming on the heels of Demi’s docuseries, “Unidentified”, where they and their friends go searching for aliens. I watched the trailer and immediately had to check if it was meant as a “mockumentary”. If Demi was fucking with us this entire time it would be a move I would respect the hell out of, but unfortunately that isn’t the case. They are dead serious about contacting aliens. 

There’s a four minute clip where Demi claims to have made contact with the alie- sorry, extraterrestrials. I was hysterical throughout the entire thing. Demi is talking to a beeping box which they claim is a “starperson” named Carmen. With a shockingly Italian originated name, Carmen confesses to the singer that she also has trauma involving men and doesn’t feel comfortable talking to anyone but Demi. As our unappointed human ambassador, Demi gives a quick rendition of “Skyscraper” as our first peace offering between our two species. I mean, how lucky can these starpeople possibly get? 

For some reason no one is talking about the biggest moment in human history. We have made peaceful first contact. That, or maybe, just maybe, Demi Lovato was talking to a plastic box in a dark room where they made up a fake conversation based off of nothing but static. The absolute best part is you can clearly tell Demi believes it. It never even crossed their mind that they were in an empty room talking to absolutely nobody. Cmon on Demi, what’re you on crack? I’m sorry…I… it was only meant as a figure of speech. 

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