Gluing you’re hand to surfaces is very hot in the streets right now. The Timberwolves dealt with a tsunami of screaming protesters gluing themselves to the hardwood during the playoffs. Now Oscar-nominated actor James Cromwell has joined the trend like a 13 year old with a Tik Tok addiction. He’s Hollywood’s designated creepy tall guy. The actor most famous for his roles in Babe, Sucession, and the warden in the Longest Yard remake joined PETA to glue himself to a Starbucks counter to protest a vegan milk up charge.
Fuckin PETA, they’re crazy man. Say what you want about them, they’re one of the last organizations that still has a set of balls on them. PETA has always had a flair for the dramatic. Here’s six other crazy campaigns and protests the organization has deployed.
Gordon Ramsay’s Horseshit
The Brits love three things: cooking shows, colonialism, and Gordon Ramsay. When PETA found a stage containing 2/3 they knew they had to strike. Gordon tried to get the horse meat ball rolling on his cooking show “F-Word” by barbecuing up some ponies. Not on PETA’s watch. The organization responded to Ramsay’s foal play by backing a dump truck of horse shit up to his restaurant’s door step.
A BIG Mistake
PETA has so much care for animals that they don’t really give a shit about humans. If you haven’t noticed by now, they don’t play by the same PC rules as the rest of us. Normally they don’t back down, but even PETA had to backtrack their “Save the Whales” billboard that pictured what appeared to be an over weight cartoon woman in a bikini. They released an apology and replaced it with an ad that read “Gone: Just Like All The Pounds Lost By People Who Go Vegetarian.”
Monday, Bloody Monday
Ah Americana, fireworks and hot dogs on the 4th of July. But we didn’t gain our independence by eating hot dogs and flying pyrotechnics, we fought for it with blood and sweat. This lovely PETA member had to remind the American people that at Nathan’s televised Hot Dog Eating Contest. Two minutes into the competition she ran on to the stage and doused the contestants in fake blood in protest of all the little piggies slaughtered for their hot dogs. It messed some participants up so badly that they only ate like 12 hot dogs. However, Joey Chestnut ate 70 dogs right in PETA’s face despite the demonstration.
Got Autism?
They say you should never talk religion or politics with a stranger. I’d put children’s disabilities above both of those topics. PETA mirrored the “got milk?” slogan with a billboard that read “Has your child got autism?” TIME has since exposed the trouble with the small sample of twenty children study that PETA referred to. Needless to say people were outraged that the orginaztion would use children’s disabilities to further their agenda.
KKK Comparisons
You ever seen someone malfunction when you tell them that you didn’t adopt your puppy? Imagine how PETA takes it. They’ve gone as far as implying you’re a Nazi if you don’t adopt. You can watch the commercial they put out where a KKK member walks into an American Kenel Club meeting stating he’s in the correct place since they’re discussing purebloods and master pedigrees. Watch it here: https://youtu.be/rxAaK0iJ2vQ
Breast Milk Based Ben And Jerry’s
Gotta hand it to them, it would create a whole lot of jobs. PETA has no shame in their game and has been known to exploit titties for their message. Half naked “chicks” in a bath of blood to protest KFC’s chickens. Playboy Playmates in lettuce bikinis to serve vegan hot dogs in DC, you name it. In a letter to the ice cream behemoth, PETA described a breast milk based ice cream that would save cows and be a “healthier” option for consumers. God, the perverts would have loved that. They’d trade a Cherry Garcia for a Katy Berry in a heart beat.
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PETA is far from over. It’s a fight I don’t see ending in this century. And if you think that they’re stopping at gorilla gluing hands you haven’t been paying attention. Crazy bastards, can’t wait to see what they come up with next.
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