What LeBron James Has To Do To Make Me Love Him

Not to brag but I’ve hated LeBron since before it was cool. I was ten years old during his rookie season. My best friend, who I had been regularly been going to Nets games with, had completely changed his fandom to the Cavs when Bron came to town. For Christmas my friend’s mom got him a LeBron plaque that he proudly displayed in his bedroom. It was engraved “The Next Lebron James.” Gross. Well that was all the ammo I needed, I declared war against Bron the first time I laid eyes on that plaque. 

I mean what was my friend’s problem? My best friend and I hate each other. Hate is too strong an emotion to waste on someone you don’t like. He was going to be the next LeBron James? He’s half Cuban and the other 50% Irish/Italian? He’s got a little fro and grew to a whopping 5’9”. Well if he was determined to be the next LeBron James then I was going to be the next Skip Bayless. 

For years and years I shit on LeBron. We’d wake the neighbors at house parties arguing over who and what LeBron James was to the game of basketball. I can still remember how my mouth watered when Bron scored only 8 points in Game 4 of the Finals vs. the Mavs. 

But it’s not fun anymore. I used to take on whole dorm rooms during my crusade against LeBron. Nobody likes LeBron these days. When I throw out a negative Bron stat now everyone just shrugs their shoulders at me and mumbles, “Mmm yeah, alright.” What the fuck is that? Even my best friend doesn’t defend his King anymore. I guess when he realized he was destined to be the “Next Accountant For Tinton Falls, NJ” and not “The Next LeBron James,” it stole his fire away. 

Now what? Am I thinking the impossible? Has the pendulum swung so far in my favor that I’m ready to ride it back the other way? Am I turning heel? Am I about to be..... a LeBron Stan? WWSD?

If I’m going to do this, I need some sort of commitment from LeBron. No more wishy washy nice guy routine. I want LeBron to embrace the villain. He has a player option at the end of the year, decline it. If you’re reading this LeBron... join the Warriors. God, can’t you see the headlines? Don’t you hear the cries? If LeBron James joins Steph and Klay in Golden State, I’ll buy a jersey that day. We can drink the world’s tears together like old pals.