People Who Buy Pickup Trucks Are The Biggest Idiots In The World

I start my day off every morning by thinking about how I can go about my business without having anyone to ask me to do anything. Having a pickup truck makes you the designated first call whenever your friends/family need something moved. Yeah, I might have to cram my big ass into my little Honda Accord, but it’s paid off and nobody asks me to do shit. So why are people still buying these things?

I get it if you hunt, or use it for work, but outside of that it’s a pretty inexcusable purchase. Plus I think majority of people who have a truck aren’t handy and don’t hunt. I personally know a guy who has a $2,000 toolbox hooked up in the back of his pickup. Not a single tool in it. 

Besides being physically taxing, trucks can’t be good on the mentals either. I’d wager that if you told 20 people that you bought a new truck, 9 of them would imply that you have a tiny schmeckle. I can’t afford that kind of attack from the flank, I’ve already had to throw out all my grey sweatpants. 
I feel for guys who get giddy about their new truck. Buying a new car should be an exciting thing. But all you did was purchase a machine that forces you to do free manual labor and make people think you have a little dick. I know you want to feel manly, but it isn’t worth it. But we all know a truck guy, a truck guy won’t listen to my pleas. Truck guy is still laughing at my little white Accord. Well you have fun with your empty toolbox buddy, while I’m dragging my wrench out of a Honda.