Texting while drinking is an unfortunate technologically stemmed casualty to our society. We need texting, we need drinking, and we can’t stop doing it at the same time. I’ve deleted all of my exes numbers and social media accounts. I know myself, and I have no problem reaching out and falling back in love for a couple hours after a couple of drinks. That’s normally followed by a lot of awkward explaining and back tracking. It doesn’t make for a fun morning. It’s better to remove option completely.
I know people who have drunk texted exes, in-laws, and co-workers. But never in all my life have I heard of somebody drunk texting an aquarium.
The South Carolina Aquarium recently posted these screenshots to their Twitter (@SCaquarium).
It’s part of the Aquarium’s “Ask an Aquarium Educator” program. I’m not going to explain the program, I’m sure you can figure it out.
It’s safe to say the Educator was put to the test. Ol’ Sonny up there was firing on all cylinders. His first question and last question were an hour and a half apart. His drunken brain just couldn’t quit aquatic philosophy. The Educator? Didn’t skip a fucking beat. I could’ve done without the “turtle-ly” line, but otherwise they handled themselves like champions.
This is an actual representation of all those couples’ Tik Toks where the girl is staring like “I wonder what he’s thinking about right now, he’s probably cheating on me,” and the guy’s brain is literally like “Why are seahorses always grabbing shit with their tails?” Did you catch that little breadcrumb the drunk texter left for his wife at the end there about how lucky she is? When you walk downstairs in the morning and your lady is standing there in her PJs with her arms crossed, asking you “Who the hell were you texting so late last night?” You’re gonna say the aquarium?! Not without concrete proof you’re not.
Drink responsibly. Text responsibly. And if you’re going to drunkenly pour your heart into your phone, make sure the aquariums on the receiving end.
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