I want the CEO of Cinnamon Toast Crunch thrown in jail. @JensenKarp posted a picture of his cereal this morning with cinnamon blasted shrimp tails amongst his Cinnamon Toast Crunch. It might be the most disrespectful thing I’ve ever seen and I won’t be shocked if they ask for the death penalty.
I always thought that seafood was this elaborate prank that the whole globe has decided to play on me. I don’t believe that anyone actually likes it. Saying something “smells like fish” is literally an insult, and you expect me to believe you’re willingly putting that smell in your mouth? It has to be a gag.
Imagining eating seafood is bad enough, but for it to be in your first meal of the day? You just have to mail it in from there. Call out of work, it’s over for you today. Seafood is bad, seafood where you’re not expecting is terrorism. Like when your aunt puts tuna in the Mac salad at the family bbq. But atleast I guess some people pretend that those things go together. Shrimp and Cinnamon Toast Crunch? That poor soul.
Big thing about the picture is that it’s just the tails. Which means (I’m going to gag writing this) some sociopath was slurping on the shrimp and then Salt Bae’d the tails into the cereal vat. Everyone needs to go to jail.
I hope this guy is ok. Mentally he’s toast, but physically he could’ve had a shellfish allergy. If everyone is healthy and if this guys smart he’ll find someone in his house with an allergy and make a billion dollars. Honestly, I’m not sure that’s enough.
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