The wheel, electricity, printing press, there’s certain adaptations in human civilization that changes our every day lives. Not since the Internet, has innovation had the potential to change the human existence for the better. Change all clothes to sweats.
I had a death in the family last week and blew off the cobwebs on the suit hanging in my closet. Now I’m a bigger guy, granted, so on my best day my suits don’t feel great. I haven’t had a real reason to don my suit since the world shut down a year ago. Boy was that thing snug.
As I sweat, tugged, and adjusted my way through the funeral parlor, I found myself excited to get home so I can change back into my comfort clothes. Which made me think, why can’t suits be just as comfortable as my Nike sweatpants? The materials are there. It’s 2021, surely we have the technology to make comfortable clothes look fancy? All we need is for Nike to make tighter fitting fancy attire with a couple buttons and zippers in it.
It’s right there, staring us in the face. It’s so simple that we just let it go undetected. Why is it when we need to dress to impress we decide to wear clothes that people wore hundreds of years ago? Three piece suits? Ties? Belts! People only used to wear this shit because they hadn’t figured out elastic could go into clothing yet. The fabric they chose was the most comfortable available at the time, we need to reevaluate that option. Why are we holding onto this?
It’ll make funerals more bearable. Weddings will be easier to dance at. Iron creasing before a big job interview will be a thing of the past. Spilling something at a fancy dinner won’t cost you an arm and a leg to get out. Possibilities are endless.
All it takes is acceptance. We have to collectively agree that it’s socially acceptable. The same companies that make tracksuits need to step up to make prom suits. Plus we’ll need a pioneer to lead the charge. I’d gladly fall on that sword but I don’t think I’d have the societal impact as say a Leo or an Idris Elba.
This is my written patent for when this makes millions and changes the world. It’ll be my life’s work. If it doesn’t happen in my lifetime, it is my wish that everyone show up to my wake/funeral in fresh ass sweat suits.
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