It’s been quite a week. I downloaded Robinhood and watched one single seven minute youtube video on investing in the stock market and convinced myself I was about to be a millionaire. I had already mentally spent my money. GameStop, Nokia, and AMC have all dropped considerably. What now? My favorite part, the blame game. Who can we be mad at for not making money?
Let’s start with Big Trader. Criminals. A lot of smarter people than me have explained what they did already so there’s really nothing my dumbass can add to make you understand it. From what I gather rich people rage quit the stock market and flipped the board cause they were losing. Completely stopped trade which no one thinks they can actually do but they just did it anyway. Honestly, kind of whatever with them. We all knew they were crooks and now it’s just out in the open. Let’s move on.
Steve Coward Cohen. This one felt good. This slimeball bailed out his box suite buddies and spat in the face of us who sit in the bleachers. The speed in which Mets fans went from “Its so refreshing to engage with an owner who understands the fan base” to “what do I care if my owner deleted his Twitter” was astonishing. Uncle Steve was praised for his social media prescence, Mets fans wouldn’t shut the fuck up about. The first, ABSOLUTE FIRST sign of adversity, what does he do? Tucks his tale and runs. This is the guy you want running your franchise? Is this your king? It’s the internet Stevie, she’s a cruel mistress and she doesn’t let you choose how you’re perceived. Ride the highs and roll with the lows, wimp.
While the aforementioned conspirators are obviously dickheads, no one has shown their true colors more than my college roommate. In college I was a criminal justice major who drank too much, my roommates were engineering majors who studied too much. We were both practicing for our futures. Well my one roommate, we’ll call him Tony, made 280k over this GameStop fiasco. While that might not be a lot of money to everyone, 280k overnight for a 27 year old in my neck of the woods is a fortune. Tony, the man I saw wear the same red sweatsuit with holes in it for four days in a row. The same Tony who dropped out of his pre-med program because he was smoking way too much weed. That guy, 280k. He had no problem giving me the heads up that he had eaten my last pepperoni Hot Pocket in the freezer five years ago. But when it came to him making a potential million dollars? Not.a.fucking.peep! We talk almost everyday in my college group chat. Would a “hey guys I’m looking to make moves in the stock market” have killed him? Apparently. This omission will be reflected heavily in his upcoming wedding gift/card.
To all the haters out there saying “oh you shouldn’t be trading in the stock market you don’t know what you’re doing” or “what do you care you only put $67 into your Robinhood account”, to that I say fuck you. This is a matter of American principles.
To all the haters out there saying “oh you shouldn’t be trading in the stock market you don’t know what you’re doing” or “what do you care you only put $67 into your Robinhood account”, to that I say fuck you. This is a matter of American principles.
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