By Royals expert I mean me. By expert, I mean that I’ve watched every episode of The Crown. Prince Harry and Megan Markle landed themselves as a top Twitter trend for the day. The newlyweds have decided to continue with their separation from the crown following their year hiatus as “working members” of the Windsor Royalty. What does that mean? I have no idea, but it’d make for a great episode of The Crown.
What I do know is that the Duke and Duchess of Sussex are no longer receiving funds from the Sovereign Grant. Basically the Queen said “if you guys want to do your own thing you can pay for your own shit”. Oh no, how can Harry and Megan ever survive without the lavish lifestyle they’ve grown accustomed to? Oh that’s right, the trust that Princess Diana left Harry, plus his inheritance from the Queen Mother totaling around $40 million. Not to mention the couples mega deal that they signed with Netflix which is very very suspect.
You might think that if a company made a show detailing your late mother’s struggle with bulimia in graphic detail that you’d reconsider doing business with them. The same show that depicts your Dad as a whiny adulterer who couldn’t handle your mother’s new found fame. What would be your price for doing business with those people? For Harry it’s apparently somewhere around 100 million. UNLESS there was more to it than that.
I have a theory. In the show, there’s an episode where Prince Phillip, the Queen’s husband, decides to make a documentary on the family to try and overturn their dwindling popularity amongst the public. Since the public was starting to believe that just maybe they shouldn’t have as much funding as they’ve been receiving. The documentary failed miserably. It didn’t have an authentic feel and nobody felt bad for the unemployed family who threw parties from their palace.
The savior of this episode is Princess Alice, Phillip’s mother. After hiding her from the documentary cameras, Princess Alice goes rogue and does an unfiltered interview for the newspaper. Alice is a cigarette smoking nun that was born congenitally deaf, diagnossed schizophrenic that received electric shock therapy, sheltered Jewish refugees during World War II, who lived out her remaining years in poverty in a military-run Greece. Alice’s candor gave the people what they wanted, to know that Royals are real people with real problems.
The Winsdor’s learned a valuable lesson that day, genuine authentic drama sells.
The official statement from Buckingham Palace is disapproval of The Crown. I don’t buy that for a second. My theory is that Netflix and the Windsors are in cahoots and I think Harry’s deal proves it. The Crown is accomplishing what Phillip’s first documentary failed to do. Humanize the Royals. Make you feel sympathy for the family worth $88 billion who essentially do nothing. Staying relevant is their best way to stay in power. How relevant does Netflix’s show make the Windsors? This new season broke the record for one week streaming with viewers streaming 3.36 BILLION minutes from November 16th- 20th.
For the record I understand they do great charity work which is to be applauded. And I don’t want this blog to be misconstrued as saying that all the tragedy that’s befallen this family was for the sake of TV drama. I’m simply pointing out that this family of Kings, Queens, Princes and Princesses have virtually no say or responsibility in the country that they rule over- and get paid handsomely for their nothingness. I can’t knock the hustle, that’s fuckin awesome.
So what is Harry up to? He’s making headlines and keeping the family relevant. Harry’s doing his job.
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