Aging With Technology

Millennials are the first to really age with the Internet. As I get older the way I see things on social media are evolving. For instance, when I used to see throwbacks of social media friends with their young parents I’d be amazed at how young everyone looked. Now when I see those long stories with throwbacks of parents I rapidly tap to the end thinking “oh fuck I hope their Dad didn’t die”. But we’re at that age now. Part of getting to this age is hating on the generation that comes after you. Which I’m about to do. 

I never thought I’d be the old man screaming at the clouds, but Gen Z’s are out of control. Tik Tok in particular. It’s not entirely their fault, but it also is 100% their fault. I had Facebook and AIM in my formative years, I get it. I’ve said and done things on there I regret, but I atleast had fear. These kids just do not give a fuck. Where are their parents?

We used to have school assemblies about being careful of what you put on the Internet because of perverts and stuff. Ok maybe they might of been about chatrooms at the time, but still the underlying message was the same. Do kids not get these pep talks anymore?

I’m not going to get into the particulars of what kids are doing on Tik Tok. If you’ve been on the app you know what I’m talking about. We’re making the aforementioned perverts jobs way too easy nowadays. Parents put the fear of God back into your children.

I know my parents did. My Mom in particular. When I was a freshman in high school I still wasn’t allowed to have a Facebook or a Myspace. But since it was my rebellious stage, I had already had one for three years. One night my little brother and I were home alone watching a movie. We were in an unused bedroom that we had put a PS2 and a couch in. My brother fell asleep on the couch almost as soon as the lights went off. I decided to cruise Facebook on the floor. My face was so glued to the monitor that I hadn’t heard my parents come home. When the bedroom door opened and my mom’s face peeked in, my heart sank to my toes. I slammed my laptop shut. Red flag obviously, my mom asked me what I was doing. I just shook my head no, I hadn’t closed out the window. After demanding over and over again that I open my laptop and show her what I was on I blurted out to my sweet sweet mother, “Porn! It was porn. I was watching porn”. The look of shock on her face will never escape me. My mom looked like I had just punched her in the jaw.

I’ll try my best to quickly transcribe what I remember after that. 

Mom: “You need to talk to your son.”

Dad: “Why?” 

Mom: “He was just watching pornography with his little brother asleep on the couch.”

Dad: “Oh.”

*Mom leaves to her room and slams the door.

Dad: “Wtf is wrong with you? Look buddy, I know you’re at that age now but...I mean...I never thought I’d have to tell you you can’t jerkoff with you’re little brother in the room.”

Me: “I was on Facebook, I couldn’t open my laptop or mom would have found out.”

Dad knowing I had a Facebook: “Jesus. You could have said literally anything else.”

Me: “It just blurted out.”

Dad: “Hahahahaha oh man, fuckin idiot. Good luck at breakfast tomorrow.”

I was so afraid of letting my mother know that my likeness was on the Internet that I resorted to letting her think I was practicing exhibitionism in front of my 12 year old brother. That’s the kind of fear that today’s parents need to bring back to these Tik Tokers. 

Maybe I’m just getting old. I remember the rush of answering the a/s/l question in chatrooms. Is doing stupid shit on the Internet in your adolescence just part of growing up now? It’s not my job to answer those kind of questions. My part to play is shitting on the new up and comers for making similar stupid decisions that we made. Stupid Tik Tokers.