It needs to be said. Everyone knows it’s an obligatory gesture that for some reason is always accepted. It’s the clashing of worlds. Your girl’s family and your buddies. Often times those two groups know two different personalities. And for whatever reason, we feel the need to put those two worlds on a crash course for your last ride with the fellas.
From the groom’s perspective it’s a balancing act. No one knows if her brother is going to be cool with the things that are about to happen. Most of his friends are cool with it, but there’s always that one guy who’s a dick to him because he feels like he’s ruining the weekend. That guy normally brings cocaine. Instead of enjoying his own bachelor party, the groom now has to cater to his future in-law all night, someone no one wanted there in the first place, because he doesn’t know anyone. Meanwhile the groom just wants to take things too far with a stripper and cheat on his sister just a little bit. For good luck.
But does the in law even want to be there? That’s a lot of pressure. He’s never met the groom’s friends other than maybe a couple of quick introductions at a bar. What are you going to talk about? Work? No one wants to hear that shit at a bachelor party. Plus you know everyone that you’re sharing a house with for the weekend is literally rooting for your sister to get cheated on. Most of the time the in-law winds up overcompensating and going too far in order to prove to the group of strangers that he can hang. You’ve probably seen that guy at your own friend’s bachelor party. Do you want to be that guy?
My friend went as the in-law to bachelor party in Scottsdale over the weekend. We watched the draft together the night before he left and I asked him if he was nervous about doing something weird. He was so sure that he was going to be weird that he promised me he was going to take it easy. I worked 10:00 p.m. last night to 4:00 p.m. today. So at around 4:00 a.m. this morning I caught his Snapchat Story before he deleted it. He was black out drunk, which in his defense is one of your only playable moves. He was hanging on guys he didn’t know, kissing his sister’s fiancé on the cheek telling him he loved him, and ended it with him holding a girls face in the sloppiest make out session I’ve ever seen. This was all on his public story. I’ve never screenshot something so fast in my life. I sent him a single text this morning, “How many screenshots.”
“Too many.”
We’re adults. We can recognize that for the sake of healthy relationships some things should be kept separate and sacred. Most of the time I don’t even want my friends witnessing the things I do when I drink. Nevermind someone who’s related to the girl I’m about to marry. If you’re a groom send the invite, if your an in-law send back a bottle a booze saying sorry I can’t make it. No more in-laws at bachelor parties.
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