Objectively speaking, people getting catfished is funny. We love seeing people getting tricked as long as it’s not us. There’s a whole MTV show dedicated to this premise. We point and laugh and say look at this idiot, how did they not know? If you pull back the layers, is it sad? Yeah probably, but sad things can be funny too.
My best friend got catfished in high school. It was amazing. A very attractive girl with a very newly created profile added me and all of my friends on Facebook. As well as various other males in our area. My buddy took the cheese. We had no idea it was happening until his girlfriend at the time went through his phone and caught him. With the word out that he was texting another girl daily we confronted him. Low and behold it was the same girl who messaged all of us, that no one but him answered. He defended the validity of her existence. What choice did he have? He even showed us selfies she sent him to prove his point. Selfies, we pointed out, that were very google-able. So gathered around his phone, we had him give the girl specific instructions to prove she’s real. She cursed him out and couldn’t send the picture. Cause it was probably a dude. He turned beat red as we laughed and laughed and laughed.
Kind of a victimless crime though, no? Besides my buddy’s ex girlfriend I suppose. But catfishing has taken on a whole new level.
I don’t have the statistics, but I can confidently say that the number one way to be blackmailed today is by starting an internet relationship with someone you’ve never met. I don’t know how they pick and chose who to target but I’m sure it has something to do with watching porn on your phone. It’s only a theory but c’mon, you know it’s true.
You can be texting for weeks, months even until they make their move. Things get hot and steamy. You send some texts that you know the boys would roast you for. But then you’re social media sweetheart asks for the nudes. Why someone would send themselves naked to somebody they’ve never seen before is beyond me.
If your face isn’t in the picture and they try and squeeze you for money, you’re golden. That’s their mistake, say it could be anybody and they won’t have a leg to stand on. But if your face is in the picture, let’s face it, youre fucked.
I know this one kid who started a “relationship” through Instagram. Very much out of his league but hope can do strange things to rational people. She sent him some racy photos (understatement) and asked him to return the favor. As soon as he sent his dick and balls, she sent back a list of his Instagram friends that that picture would be sent to if he didn’t Zelle her five grand. He didn’t have the money, the catfish kept their word.
It isn’t always nudes either. I know another kid who didn’t come from much money. He was a bit dorky in high school but girls started to give him more attention as he grew a knack for making smart investments. Young guy, twenty-four years old. Same thing, a girl hit him up on Instagram. He admitted to wanting to impress her and told her all about his investments. She, as luck would have it, was an investor herself. She let him in on a couple investments that were a “sure thing” that they could do together. 75k and 0 responses later, he knew he’d been conned.
It’s not always men being catfished either. Unfortunately I know one woman, grown, kids of her own, who fell for a Facebook relationship. She had been divorced for two years, her dog had just died, and her knight in shining armor had shown up just in time. She told this man her hopes, dreams, and fears. She shared really intimate stuff. Sadly too intimate. The second she sent herself naked to the guy messaging her in broken English he responded by demanding money from her. He told her he’d send the photo to all her friends and family if she didn’t. She sent him 10k to hush it all up. They didn’t stop there, weeks later he asked for another 10k. When she told him she couldn’t afford that, he sent the pictures to her kids, friends, and co-workers. The stuff of nightmares.
If you find yourself literally caught with your pants down, don’t send the money. They’ll send out your pictures either way. It’s better to be naked and embarrassed than naked, embarrassed, and broke.
All of these horror stories are 100% true. Little fyi, I just now realized that I made it sound that this happened to me. It did not. I’ll swear on anything you ask me too.
With our grandparents generation they exploited family ties and scammed by asking for fake bail money for their grandparents. With our parents generation, they saw their hopes to get rich quick and hit them with the fake inheritance scam. We sat back and laughed at how they were idiots who couldn’t responsibly navigate the internet. Then the scammers realized how horny we all are, and now we’re on the chopping block. Keep your dignity, keep your money, don’t be catfished. Be a champion today, rub one out like the rest of us lonelies.
No comments:
Post a Comment