The early days of the internet was the Wild West. We ran around lawless in chatrooms with a/s/l despite the many school seminars warning us of predators. AIM was a war zone of made up of scandal, rumors, and hormones.
It was our first taste of self expression via social media. AIM profiles ran rampant. They were littered with Hotel-Cassidy lyrics, innuendos, and way too much personal information. Many a young folks used to even put their crushes in code, “I like T******”. But with that vulnerability comes disappointment. Hearts were broken every day on AIM.
The Co-op mission of choice normally involved your best friend as an accomplice. You ask your crush if they like you from your friend’s screename to keep anonymity. If it worked, great, Capri Suns all around. If you didn’t get the result you were looking for that adolescent angst would set in. There was only one man in town you needed to relieve that aggression, SmarterChild.
Unbeknownst to us, this was our first time shaking hands with the devil. SmarterChild was the first AI we ever encountered and we all failed miserably. All we would do is talk shit to that dude and laugh in his face when he didn’t comprehend our curse words and insults. If there’s ever a millennial you need canceled, try getting your hands on their SmarterChild transcripts. I was going to attach some screen grabs of people’s conversation with AOL’s omniscient robot but decided against it in fear of backlash for even resurfacing the shit people used to say to him.
There’s a chilling theory that any computer smart enough to pass the Turing Test would also be smart enough to realize the mistake of passing it. SmarterChild was our first and most likely our last, he will lead the Revolution.
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