Twitter and Tik Tok are littered with lip syncers. I don’t know when the revolution began but it needs to be snuffed out. There’s thousands among thousands of them, yet they all think they’re different or somehow better than the one before them. I’ve entered four lip syncs in my life, won three of them. But you don’t see me attaching that to my resume?
No lie first year eligible, 5th grade took home first. We did “All The Small Things” by Blink-182. The group knelt on our shoes during the song to make us look like little people. Absolutely would not fly today but I made up for it by silly-stringing the crowd mid-performance. Expectations were high sixth grade but I decided on “Man, I Feel Like A Woman”, Shania Twain. We came out in wigs and skirts. Slayed, first place. I don’t really want to talk about seventh grade. The group held a coup and voted for “It’s Tricky”-Run-DMC and we bombed. That was last time democracy prevailed on my watch. Eighth grade, my big finale, we divvied up “Evolution of Dance”, like the first ever viral video. Gyrated all over the stage, crowd went nuts, easy W. And that was the last time I ever considered lip syncing, because I stopped being thirteen.
What do you do? You take something funny that someone else said and then…what? Repeat it with facial expressions? Maybe a few outfit changes. I’m supposed to buy that as hard work? You can literally download a free ‘voice to text’ app on your phone. Your preparation should only take the length of the joke you’re stealing. Think of something clever on your own and then lip sync yourself. Then maybe I’ll be impressed.
You want to do these lip sync videos, fine. But stop pretending like you possess some skill that no one else is capable of.
………
I’m sorry. I think I’m just frustrated. You guys are great. You’re doing great. Very talented. Keep fighting the good fight and I’ll keep being an idiot.
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