Wednesday, May 18, 2022

The Problem With This Wisconsin Man Eat Two Big Macs A Day For Fifty Years


Who has a more unbreakable record than Wayne Gretzky, more determination than Cal Ripken Jr., and probably zero lining left in his stomach? Don Gorske. The Wisconsin man who’s eaten Big Macs every day for the last fifty years. In case you were wondering, yes that is a world record. 

https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1SEoqyAwSunCY8KvIenMUmYp0gRkuidK0

As of last August, Gorske had eaten 33,420 Big Macs. Gorske says that most people told him he’d be dead before fifty years of Big Mac consumption, yet here he stands. Big Science is no match for Big Mac. If I told you to close your eyes and picture what an American would look like who’s averaged two Big Macs a day for fifty years, I promise you that you wouldn’t picture Don Gorske. 

https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1feS_NtOuReYuh5vwhEZPPO3CRuHE8Yq7
https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1zk8iD8nUsFpg6mY7NWbgBbAqvBsTw2AN

I think the real story might lie in the choice of going bowl cut bangs with a pony tail. What are you hiding? An alternate universe Larry David who never created Seinfeld but still had an insatiable appetite for fame. 
I’ve been known to enjoy throwing back a couple Big Macs. So besides the obvious question of health, what problem do I have with Don? 
So Gorske actually has admitted that he’s missed eight days in the last fifty years. Still impossibly impressive. Plus I’m sure he made up with those Big Macs lost with extra orders when he was back up and running. But health aside, what kind of affect has this had on his life?
Don does a minimum two Big Macs a day. Lunch and dinner presumably. He’s eaten nothing but Big Macs and maybe breakfast for the last fifty years.
Has that taken a toll on his family? He has grown kids so I assume he has or at least had a wife. Did she take offense to her cooking? What about when it was his kid’s birthday? Besides presents, your ace in the hole for your birthday is choosing where to eat. Were the Gorske children forced to blow out the candles at McDonald’s? Or did Don eat his Big Macs beforehand and sit there with an empty place mat? 
What if there was a funeral? Was his family like, cmon dude give it a rest this is serious. And Ron would white knuckle the steering wheeling saying, “No, I HAVE to do this.” 
What the hell happend in those eight days that he missed? Did he get two Big Macs on 9/11? 
What if he gets sick? Were there Covid protocols? Gambling your own health with your Big Mac addiction is one thing but putting others at risk when you’re sick is another discussion entirely. What if he got Covid and lost his taste, would he shove down the Big Macs out of responsibility? 
Have they had the discussion about the money? Is he independently wealthy? Based on menu pictures from the internet, I’ve estimated how much money he’s spent through the decades based on the prices of Big Mac meals. They’re obviously not exact but they’re ballpark. And an interesting correlation to today’s inflation conversations. 1970’s: $9,5631980’s: $18,9071990’s: $33,5072000’s: $35,6972010’s: $45,9172020-2022: $17,279
Which means at the end of this year Don’s grand total will be $160,870 on Big Macs. By the end of the decade if and that’s a big IF, the price of Big Macs don’t rise, his decade total will be $57,597. Bringing his overall McDonald’s tab to $201,188. 
Is he crazy? 
How much trouble would I get in if I kidnapped Don Gorkse? Not for ransom or physical harm or anything like that. But just to see how Don would react if I withheld Big Macs from him. Sorry, I just went to dark place there. Forget I said that. 
Am I crazy?
I don’t wish bad things to happen to people. I promise I won’t kidnap anyone. But what I will say is, it would be a funny move for McDonald’s to suddenly discontinue the Big Mac. Big Ron’s vs. Big Don would be a showdown for the ages. 

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