Nuggets of true wisdom come from the most unlikely of places. It doesn’t come from seminars, or books, or classrooms. It comes from locker rooms, kind-hearted blackjack dealers, and old people at yard sales. Or in our case, Michael Irvin in the same restaurant as us during a bachelor party.
Just so we’re clear here, yes, that Michael Irvin. Three time Super Bowl champ, Hall Of Famer, Dallas Cowboy #88, Michael Irvin. Normally, we’re not the type to ask for a picture but the sheer befuddlement of seeing Michael Irvin mixed with sheer volume of alcohol consumed, forced our hand. Someone in our party approached him as he came in and asked if we could buy him a shot and take a picture with the bachelor party.
Irvin politely declined stating he doesn’t take pictures in restaurants. Which, fair point, then a line would form for photo-ops when the poor guy is just trying to eat his food. We were happy with a wave and carrying on with our night.
But something awesome happened as our food was getting delivered. Michael Irvin was leaving and came up to the table and asked us if we still wanted that picture outside. Absolutely, hot food be damned.
He couldn’t of been more of a gentleman. Cracking jokes, contagious laugh, smiling like what we were saying was interesting. You’ve seen him on TV, the guy’s infectious.
Michael Irvin then asked us who’s getting married. We pointed the sucker out. Now I’m going to paraphrase this next bit, because again, my mind wasn’t at it’s sharpest. But this is what he said.
“Let me tell you something man. You see these hands?” His hands were pterodactyl wings. “My wife every night before garbage day tells me to take the garbage out. And I look at my hands and say to her, ‘These hands took you out the hood. These hands made us millions of dollars. Now you want these hands to take out trash?’- and all she has to do is look. I’m telling you right now young man, take the garbage out!”
We all laughed along with our new friend Michael. A funny and insightful tidbit from a man who’s been married for 30+ years. I wanted to ask him to officiate the wedding but I was nudged in the rib.
That’s what they say a successful marriage is, right? Give and take. Especially the small stuff. None of us are above it, none of us are safe from the glare, not even Michael Irvin. So to all you future grooms out there- go barefoot if you’re lazy, hold a jacket over your head if it’s raining, or curse under your breath once safely outside, whatever you have to do. But make sure you get off your ass and take that fucking trash out.
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