Monday, July 12, 2021

Mike Hughes Blows Chunks And Coverage



The Vikings recently traded their former 2018 first round pick, Mike Hughes, to the Chiefs for a sixth rounder. Now police dash cam footage has been released of Mike Hughes throwing up in the back seat of Jayron Kearse’s car during the middle of a DWI stop. 

Jayron bombed the field sobriety test. There’s no fooling the HGN test. That’s the “follow my finger test”. If you’ve been boozing, your eyes will vibrate back and forth while they look side to side. It’s because the muscles behind your eyeballs are loosened from the alcohol and give the impression of twitching like the second hand on a clock. It’s freaky looking, try it on your friends. So I imagine the HGN plus the abysmal heel to toe walk was enough to breathalyze Jayron. While all this is going on, you can see Mike Hughes open the back door twice to throw up. 

Hughes wasn’t driving, which is good, but still definitely a bad look. You can’t throw up in the back of your friends car and then go on to only play four games in 2020, giving up 12 receptions on 16 targets. You can’t blow chunks and coverage. 

Let he without sin cast the first stone. During my top 3 worst moments of being me, I threw up in my buddy’s car in 2014. It was the SEC championship, Alabama vs. Mizzou. My friends went into the stadium for the game and I went to a Biergarten by myself in Atlanta. In my defense, I was supposed to go out in Atlanta with my cousin but he called me drunk at 4am that morning saying “he thinks he’s sick.” Sure pal. Well I met some kindred spirits who were having an impromptu childhood reunion, who found it funny to load me up with shots and high percentage German beer. I found it funny too, my ride back to Tuscaloosa didn’t. I threw up in his car, still in Atlanta, twenty minutes into our three hour drive back. We stopped at a gas station so I could vacuum and clean up as best I could. I also threw out my pants and kicked two holes in the bottom of a garbage bag and wore it like a diaper all the way home. No one talked for the next two and half hours. 

I’d never been more embarrassed in my life. Paid $300 to get my friend’s car detailed the next day. We’re good now though, I facetimed him in Dallas today for about two hours. That’s why I’m rooting for Jayron Kearse and Mike Hughes. I’m happy for Jayron, played 11 games for the Lions last year. So it seems like he turned that around. Now I hope the Chief’s get a steal with Mike Hughes. He’s probably super embarrassed that this made it’s way to the internet. People make mistakes, but everyone deserves a shot at a second chance. Lord knows I needed it. 

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