Let's talk about ghosting. Face to face confrontations have become relics since the invention of the smart phone. Ghosting might not paint the most chivalrous picture, but I candidly believe it to be the best option available. Ghosting is a brave endeavor. It takes an uncomfortable sacrifice to give no reason for your departure. To leave like the Roadrunner without a trace. She might be stuck like Wile E Coyote, with a "What Are We?!" sign, but that's the decision you're going to have to make. For the both of you.
The original ghosting was writing love letters to soldiers you didn't didn't know were dead yet. It has since transcended to getting your messages left on read while he decided to sleep with that girl from work who's pictures he kept liking on Instagram. You probably preferred it when you found out we weren't writing back because we were dead in a trench somewhere.
The first time I had seen a ghosting was in the seventh grade. Us Catholic school boys were dating three public school girls from the other side of the track. Our one friend started to make excuses every time we would hang out with our girlfriends, but we didn't really think anything of it. One afternoon in the local Brunswick Zone, our missing friend's girlfriend slammed down her pizza and stared through our souls. "Are me and Tyler still dating!? He hasn't answered my texts in a month and every time we all hang out, he doesn't show up." That was the funniest thing I had ever heard during a Cosmic Bowling hour. Our laughter drowned out Madonna's Last night I dreamt of San Pedrooo and we were drawing death stares from at least six lanes over. We had no idea this was going on.
Who taught Tyler this method? Is it instinctual? Is there something primitive built into our makeup that makes us flee when the going gets hot? This kid was a pro, and he was only thirteen. This was pre-memes, pre-Twitter, pre- everything but AIM. Ghosting hadn't even been coined yet so our friend group named it, the Tyler treatment. We implemented it into our own lives when the cooties became too much. 60% of the time, it worked every time.
It begs the question, who's at fault for the ghosting in an adult relationship? Every time he tried to end it, you saw it coming, and Jedi Mind tricked him into sex mid argument before he could break it off. Divide and conquer, it's the oldest trick in the book. You separate our dicks from our brains and we're rendered useless.
If you dangle nooky to prevent the usurping of your tenure as girlfriend, you're taking advantage of someone who is legally incompetent. Trust me, it'll hold up in court. You know that thing you love that we do? Your clitoris or whatever it is. Our entire sexual organ is one giant clitoris. If you exploit that weakness to interrupt a breakup, we should be found unfit to carry out normal proceedings.
It's crazy cause women hate when you cheat on them. But if you don't allow someone to break up with you, what other options do we have? How do you break it off with someone without being seduced? You do absolutely nothing until she eventually gives up. In both scenarios, she gets hurt and that's unfortunate. But at least you can't cheat on her if you're already aware that you two have broken up. Even if she isn't up to speed yet.
If you're wondering if you're being ghosted, you are. It doesn't take Summer Sanders to figure that one out. In person break ups are gone for good. Texting break ups have been shamed into obliteration. So now you get nothing.
The original ghosting was writing love letters to soldiers you didn't didn't know were dead yet. It has since transcended to getting your messages left on read while he decided to sleep with that girl from work who's pictures he kept liking on Instagram. You probably preferred it when you found out we weren't writing back because we were dead in a trench somewhere.
The first time I had seen a ghosting was in the seventh grade. Us Catholic school boys were dating three public school girls from the other side of the track. Our one friend started to make excuses every time we would hang out with our girlfriends, but we didn't really think anything of it. One afternoon in the local Brunswick Zone, our missing friend's girlfriend slammed down her pizza and stared through our souls. "Are me and Tyler still dating!? He hasn't answered my texts in a month and every time we all hang out, he doesn't show up." That was the funniest thing I had ever heard during a Cosmic Bowling hour. Our laughter drowned out Madonna's Last night I dreamt of San Pedrooo and we were drawing death stares from at least six lanes over. We had no idea this was going on.
Who taught Tyler this method? Is it instinctual? Is there something primitive built into our makeup that makes us flee when the going gets hot? This kid was a pro, and he was only thirteen. This was pre-memes, pre-Twitter, pre- everything but AIM. Ghosting hadn't even been coined yet so our friend group named it, the Tyler treatment. We implemented it into our own lives when the cooties became too much. 60% of the time, it worked every time.
It begs the question, who's at fault for the ghosting in an adult relationship? Every time he tried to end it, you saw it coming, and Jedi Mind tricked him into sex mid argument before he could break it off. Divide and conquer, it's the oldest trick in the book. You separate our dicks from our brains and we're rendered useless.
If you dangle nooky to prevent the usurping of your tenure as girlfriend, you're taking advantage of someone who is legally incompetent. Trust me, it'll hold up in court. You know that thing you love that we do? Your clitoris or whatever it is. Our entire sexual organ is one giant clitoris. If you exploit that weakness to interrupt a breakup, we should be found unfit to carry out normal proceedings.
It's crazy cause women hate when you cheat on them. But if you don't allow someone to break up with you, what other options do we have? How do you break it off with someone without being seduced? You do absolutely nothing until she eventually gives up. In both scenarios, she gets hurt and that's unfortunate. But at least you can't cheat on her if you're already aware that you two have broken up. Even if she isn't up to speed yet.
If you're wondering if you're being ghosted, you are. It doesn't take Summer Sanders to figure that one out. In person break ups are gone for good. Texting break ups have been shamed into obliteration. So now you get nothing.
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