All I Know Is Its A Pity Life, Can't Be Simple Again. Or Can It?

The Tennessee Vols had hit Rocky Botttom. They now have back to back losing seasons and really haven't been shit since the Phillip Fulmer era. In Phil's sixteen years as head coach he led Tennessee to one national championship, two SEC championships, seven bowl wins, and eight double digit win seasons. Butch Jones had no double digit win seasons and versus Florida, Alabama, Georgia, Auburn, and LSU went 3-14. Thats how he ended up as Bama's intern thing. So where did the Vols go from there? 

During their search for a new head coach their were rumors of Gruden, Scott Frost, Dan Mullen, and most notoriously Greg Schiano. Heres how the Schiano whispers went:

  

The Volunteers absolutely castrated their AD John Currie who basically had Schiano as a done deal. After campus outcry, an apology from the Chancellor, and even a statement from the White House press secretary, the crybaby fan base got their wash. I mean wish. What do you do to shut up a rowdy fan base? Hire an Alabama assistant of course. 

Jeremy Pruitt first came to Alabama in 2007 as a player development analyst or something like that. He was then promoted to DB coach were he spun out first round talents like Mark Barron, Dre Kirkpatrick, and Dee Milliner. After being named the 2012 Recruiter of the Year by 247Sports he was picked up by FSU as Defensive Coordinator. He won a national championship with FSU then skipped over to Georgia for two years as DC, and then returned to Daddy in 2016 as Alabama's DC to win the 2016 national championship. So he was a little defensive coordinator slut for a couple years. Always the bridesmaid but never the bride, until 2018 when Tennessee announced him as their new head coach. 

So how did Tennessee fair with their new head coach? No so great. They finished 5-7 on the year. However, Pruitt showed some serious progress with a team of guys that weren't his recruits. Vols defeated a good Kentucky Wildcats team that finished the year ranked 12th overall in the AP Poll. And more importantly Pruitt led the Vols to their first SEC West win since 2010 vs Auburn at Jordan-Hare Stadium. 

Here's what Mel Kiper had to say on Good Ole Rocky Top's class this year, "Jeremy Pruitt, the recruiting class coming in this year, is outstanding. The recruits that are coming in are going to get back to Tennessee having a lot of early-round picks." So even though Finebaum guaranteed they wouldn't win a title in his life time the Vols are on the come up. Imagine Paul just died if they went to the Rose Bowl. Anyway, last year 247Sports had Tennessee's recruiting class ranked as 21st overall. This year they're 12th. So strap up your overalls Tennessee cause you got a Bama man at the helm now. 

p.s. Tennessee will always be low down, dirty snitches. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mor3ZBsKINI

Cornhusker's Revenge Porn Is Going Get Him F'd In The Corn Hole

Scott Frost is off to a not so good start in the 2019 season. His star recruit from last year, Maurice Washington, is being charged with a felony. A top three bad felony charge, child pornography. Washington was Nebraska's number one recruit last year and ranked 93rd overall in the country. Maurice had 455 rushing yards and 4 touchdowns this past season and was poised to be the centerpiece of the Cornhuskers offense. That was until he decided to be a centerpiece of shit. 

Now the case is still in the legal process but here is what the victim is alleging. Washington's ex girlfriend says that she texted him to congratulate him on his scholarship and that he responded "Remember this hoe", accompanied by a video of her having sex with two males. Under California's Penal code PEN 647 (j)(4) , where the offender sends explicit images or videos with the intent to cause harm or distress to the person is liable up to six months in jail and $1,000 fine. Not good. To make matters worse the victim is claiming that the sexual acts conducted were not consensual and that Washington sent her her own rape video. Super not good. Now you might be wondering why Washington should care about some California law if he was clearly recruited out of Texas? Well he met the victim when he dated her freshman year of high school in Californina before moving to Texas, and held on to the video since then. The video is from when the victim was 15 landing the child pornography distribution, strike three pal. So to recap Maurice Washington sent revenge porn to his ex of her getting allegedly raped while being underage. I read a pro-Nebraska blog on this that was actually titled 'Should Scott Frost Suspend Maurice Washington.' Suspension is the least of his worries dummy. 

Scott Forst is now most likely without his previous number one recruit coming up off of a disappointing 4-8 debut season. His starting running back in 2018 graduated, his other freshman left the program, and the next leading rusher only had sixteen carries last season. What will Scoot Frost do with Maurice Washington? He has a chance to be a white knight but maybe he should've stayed a golden one. 

George Jewett, The First African-Amercian College Football Player

In the spirit of February, this is George Jewett. George was the son of a prominent blacksmith in Ann Arbor Michigan. He spoke four languages, was the valedictorian of his Ann Arbor High School, studied medicine at Michigan and Northwestern, and broke the color barrier for major programs of college football. 

Jewett started his college career when Jim Crow laws were still governing, segregating the country into black and white. George first landed his spot on Michigan's roster in 1890, seventy-four years before the Civil Rights Act. Once in a game vs Albion, the team and crowd were trying to bait Jewett into penalty that would get him kicked out of the game. When George didn't respond the crowd began to chant "Kill the n-word!". A fight broke out, fans charged the field, and the whole place was on brink of a race riot until local police intervened and deescalated the situation. George decided to remain in the game, played both sides of the ball and shutout Albion 16-0. 

George Jewett went on to also be the first African-American to play for Northwestern. Michigan informed him that he couldn't continue both med school and play football simultaneously. George graduated with a medical degree from Northwestern, and led Michigan in scoring, rushing, and kicking(!) during his career as a Wolverine. George Jewett, hero of the game and one bad motherfucker. 

College Polls Are Like A Good Hookup, But FPI Is Porn

ESPN has released it's first preseason Football Power Index (FPI) and theres a lot to get excited about. Here are the headlines, SEC makes up ten of the top twenty teams, Clemson beats out Bama for the number one spot, Ohio State was left out of the Top 10, Texas didn't make the Top 25, and recent national champions, UCF Knights, are ranked 37th. Now what the fuck is the Football Power Index? 

Before we get to FPI we need to speak on it's counterpart, the College Football Playoffs committee. The committee is made up of experts in the field who decide who should go to the playoffs based on strength of schedule, data given to them by SportsSource Analytics, and most important the human element or the eye test. Strength of schedule, who have you played and are they good? Data analysis, here's what the numbers say. Human element, when you physically watch them how do they look? Imagine the CFP polls as a girl deciding if she wants to hook up with you at the bar. Strength of schedule: does it look like other women want to get with you, and how do they look? Data analysis, how many likes are you getting on your Instagram posts? The Human element, do you look good? Did you impress her maybe by buying her a drink, being funny, or maybe you're a Travolta in the boom boom room. Human decisions. 

The FPI is a series of simulations based on computer inputs to compute probabilities of an outcome. Kind of like Dr. Strange in Infinity War.

   

FPI preseason takes most into account the team's last four seasons with an emphasis on the previous year, how many starters are returning with an emphasis on quarterback, is the coach returning, upcoming strength of schedule, and then a minor reflection on the last four recruiting classes. FPI is more like porn. It takes into account things that you can't express in a hookup. Like maybe you're into lesbians, or asians with an emphasis on anal, or MILFs with an emphasis on bit tits. Strength of schedule? Thats just search history baby. 

Point being, its fine to find the FPI exciting, but one is a fucking computer and the other is the real deal. 

NCAAF Free Agency

Ready or not, free agency in college football is here. High profile players Shea Patterson and Justin Fields have transferred in the last two offseasons without any of the normal repercussions, like having to sit out a year. This is raising eyebrows in the college world. Players seem to love it, coaches seem to hate it, and the NCCA seems like they don't know what the fuck they're going to do. 

First let's address the transfer portal. So hot right now. It used to be that if a player wanted to transfer they would have to ask their school for permission who could then fuck them and deny their request. With the new portal, players only need to notify their school of their decision to leave. They then go up into the transfer cloud to be downloaded on to potential suitors. If you're a grad student, not to worry you don't have to sit out a year. If you're an undergrad then you lose a season and watch your new team from the sidelines. Well thats whats supposed to happen anyway. The language of the rule of immediate eligibility states that if exigent circumstances arise that impact the "the health, safety, and well-being" of the player, than they are free to play wherever they choose the following year. Well that's a bit fuckin ambiguous, ain't it? Health and safety, sure I completely understand, but what the hell does well-being mean. If they have the chance to play elsewhere isn't that better for their well-being? If they're sad because they don't start is that negatively impacting their well-being? Who knows. But the result of this is that the NCAA has waived 79% of their immediate eligibility cases! 79%!

The players side: Players have concerns of their short window to showcase themselves for the NFL. They believe that if they can play elsewhere for a school that wants them and that gives them their best opportunity at their dream to play in the NFL then what right does anybody have to stop them? The trend in FCS right now is to start players young. So if you aren't getting significant time by your sophmore year, shouldn't you have the chance to prove yourself somewhere else? Makes total sense. Coaches are constantly leaving to further their careers why should the players be stunted? The NCAA is a business, it just doesn't let it's players make business moves. 

The coaches side: The coaches have a whole list of reasons. The bullshit reason is that they're concerned about the low graduation rates for players who transfer. The real reason is that the coaches have to completely change the way they manage their teams. One, they won't know who is going to be on their roster come recruiting time. Two, if they can only give out 25 scholarships how can they offer somebody in the portal if they give out all their scholarships to recruits. Three, are you going to start screwing the high school players by only using your scholarships on recruiting players in the portal who you know can handle the collegiate workload. Four, what is stopping a player from transferring every year to a different school just for the fuck of it. Lastly, five, so many coaches are worried about the impact on what this will do for the young men in their program going forward. They feel their players want to live in a world of instant gratification. If something isn't working out, instead of competing and working harder they see it as guys just throwing in the towel. The coaches want to be able to do their job and develop the player over time. Just this year alone for instance Alabama didn't start Irv Smith Jr or Deionte Thompson until their junior year. Thompson was a Consensus All-American and a projected first round pick. Irv was Second Team All-SEC and might sneak into the first round of the draft. What would've happened if they left for another program? 

My side: The problem is that these weren't kids born in the Jordan or Kobe era but rather the Kevin Durant era. What's stopping superstar athletes on mid-level teams from jumping on a guaranteed playoff team. Can't beat em, transfer to em. What if Joey Bosa was pissed two seasons ago that Ohio State didn't make the playoffs and said fuck it I'm going to Bama next year. Where does it end? 

The only person talking sense in all of this is Northwestern Head Coach Pat Fitzgerald. Fitzgerald proposed that if players transfer that they do sit out for a season. The catch being, if they graduate, the player regains one more year of eligibility. Leave it up to the smart school. Of course he says that. A degree from Northwestern goes a lot further than one from Mizzou. They're a long way away from perfecting this but I think Pat's the closest one to cracking it. 

To transfer or not to transfer, that is the question.  

Kirby Smart Is Basically Walder Frey From Game of Thrones

Kirby Smart finished National Signing Day with a top three class for the third consecutive year. Lets let that sink in. Every year this man has been a head coach he's gotten 3rd overall, 1st overall, and 2nd overall classes, in that order. No turnover rate from the previous coach, no waiting to get his "own guys", nothing. How did he achieve this much success in such a short amount of time? Is Kirby Smart a master recruiter? Or is he just a prick? 

As the legend goes, when Kirby Smart knew he was packing up he decided to take one last stroll into Alabama's war room. When I imagine the "war room" I see it as very Game of Thrones-esque. Large oak table with carvings of each state, different hand-crafted Tigers, Boars, Dogs, and Gators strategically placed for their next plan of attack. We gave Kirby everything, four SEC titles and four National championships during his time in Tuscaloosa. We laid the world at his feet. And how did he repay us? He red wedding'd us. Slit our throats when our backs were turned. In Saban's war room was the Tide's rankings for the recruiting class. Their own Top 300, their own star systems. Rumor has it that Kirby, the little slimeball that he is, took a picture of Bama's rankings and used it for his own recruiting pitches. Smart would ask recruits where Alabama told them they were ranked. He would then point out discrepancies, claim Bama's lying to them, and sweeten their little eardrums of where they "actually" had them ranked. It was a low-down dirty move. This is how Kirby allegedly got his two year starting quarterback Jake Fromm. Every recruit Smart got from this tactic are like Walder Frey's inappropriately young wives, tainted and disgusting. Complete and utter betrayal. 

Not too worry though, the Tide remembers. Our banners are still flying, Bama's back this year to signing the number one recruiting class. We know no king, but the king in the west who's name is Saban. Winter is coming Kirby. 

 

p.s.

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If I'm being completely honest, this just makes me love Kirby even more. We have a saying where I'm from, YACYAT. You ain't cheatin, you ain't tryin. Look at this quote I found on AL.com of Kirby talking about him and Saban comparisons. "I'm different than Nick in recruiting. But that's okay. I'm comfotable with who I am." No shame in his game. Give me that fucking guy in my corner. That guy is squeezing nuts in a bar fight. I love that mentality. Win at all costs. It's all a means to an end. When Saban retires at age 100 I'd have no problem with welcoming home Kirby Smart. 

Your State's Impact On Recruiting For National Signing Day

Bragging rights are here. Each state likes to claim they have the most talent but when it comes down to it there's four states that make up half of ESPN's Top 300. Little pre list jargon, see the "BR" which means best ranking recruit of the state and where they signed. Plus "who owns the state?", meaning which schools signed the most players from that particular state. States are broken down into five tiers from least amount of player in the Top 300 to the most. 

I regret to inform you that Alaska, Delaware, Idaho, Maine, Maine, Massachusetts, Montana, New Hampshire, New Mexico North Dakota, South Dakota, Vermont, Wisconsin, and Wyoming all had 0 players in the top 300. If you live in one of these states, pick up a pig skin and go toss it around with your little sibling or cousin or something I don't know.  

Tier 5 States:

Arkansas: 1 recruit in the Top 300. BR 52nd overall Hudson Henry TE. Who owns the state? Arkansas signed the only recruit. Way to do your job there guys.

  

Colorado: 1 recruit in the Top 300. BR 141st overall Luke McCaffrey QB. Who owns the state? Nebraska signed the only recruit.

   

Nebraska: 1 recruit in the Top 300. BR 253rd overall Nick Henrich OLB. Who owns the state? Nebraska signed the only recruit. Again, way to corner your state. 

New York: 1 recruit in the Top 300. BR 80th overall Adisa Isaac DE. Who owns the state? Penn State signed the only recruit. 

Nevada: 1 recruit in the Top 300. BR 253rd overall Cade McNamara QB. Who owns the state? Michigan signed the only recruit. 

Rhode Island: 1 recruit in the Top 300. BR 166th overall Xavier Truss OT. Who owns the state? Georgia signed the only recruit. 

Washington: 1 recruit in the Top 300. BR 116th overall Dylan Morris QB. Who owns the state? The University of Washington signed the only recruit. I'm not going to repeat myself. 

Connecticut: 2 recruits in the Top 300. BR 168th Taisun Phommachanh QB, signed with Clemson. Who owns the state? Clemson and Michigan split. 

Illinois: 2 recruits in the Top 300. BR 171st overall Trevor Keegan OT, signed with Michigan. Who owns the state? Michigan and Ole Miss split. 

Iowa: 2 recruits in the Top 300. BR 250th overall Tyler Endres signed with the Iowa Hawkeyes. Who owns the state? The Hawkeyes signed both. Who would want to leave Iowa? 

Minnesota: 2 recruits in the Top 300. BR 177th overall Quinn Carroll OT, signed with Notre Dame. Who owns the state? Notre Dame and Nebraska split. 

Oklahoma: 2 recruits in the Top 300. BR 187th overall Grayson Boomer TE signed with Oklahoma State (missed opportunity there with the whole Boomer Sooner thing). Who owns the state? OK State and Oklahoma split. Don't take no shit Gundy. 

Oregon: 2 recruits in the Top 300. BR 156th overall Ethan Long ATH, signed with Arizona State. Who owns the state? ASU and Penn State split. 

Pennsylvania: 2 recruits in the Top 300. BR 228th overall Andrew Kristofic OT, signed with Notre Dame. Who owns the state? Notre Dame and Penn State split. 

Utah: 2 recruits in the Top 300. BR 185th overall Siaki Ika DT, signed with LSU. Who owns the state? LSU and Washington split. 

West Virginia: 2 recruits in the Top 300. BR 5th overall Darnell Wright OT, signed with Tennessee. Who owns the state? Tennessee and Virginia Tech split. 

Tier 4 States:

Arizona: 3 recruits in the Top 300. BR 82nd overall Treylon Burks WR, signed by Arkansas. Who owns the state? Arkansas Razorbacks signed 2/3 recruits. 

Kansas: 3 recruits in the Top 300. BR 21st overall Graham Mertz QB, signed with Wisconsin. Who owns the state? Wisconsin , Oklahoma, and Kansas State had a three way.

South Carolina: 3 recruits in the Top 300. BR 20th overall Zacch Pickens DE, signed with the University of South Carolina. Who owns the state? Gamecocks signed 2/3 recruits. 

 Hawaii: 4 recruits in the Top 300. BR 88th overall Faatui Tuitele DT signed with Washington. Who owns the state? Washington Huskies signed half of the recruits from the state.

Indiana: 4 recruits in the Top 300. BR 71st overall George Karlaftis DE, signed by Purdue. Who owns the state? Boilermakers signed half the recruits from Indiana. 

Michigan: 5 recruits in the Top 300. BR 12th overall Devontae Dobbs OT, signed with Michigan State, Who owns the state? Michigan State signed two out of the five players.

Missouri: 5 recruits in the Top 300. BR 94th overall Isaiah Williams ATH, signed with Illinois. Who owns the state? Illinois signed two out of the five player. Mizzou signed one. 

Tier 3 States:

Kentucky: 6 recruits in the Top 300. BR 115th overall Jacob Lacey DT, signed with Notre Dame. Who owns the state? Who doesn't? Kentucky was split six ways between Notre Dame, Stanford, Alabama, Nebrska, Virginia Tech, and Purdue. 

New Jersry: 6 recruits in the Top 300. BR 28th overall Antonio Alfano DT, signed with Alabama. Who owns the state? Penn State signed two of the six recruits.    

Maryland: 7 recruits in the Top 300. BR 73rd overall Shane Lee, signed with Alabama. Who owns the state? Alabama with three of the seven players. Way to build that wall around your state there Lock, should've stayed in Tuscaloosa. 

Ohio: 8 recruits in the Top 300. BR 10th overall Zach Harrison DE, signed with The Ohio State University. Who owns the state? Buckeyes do with three recruits but Harbaugh was right on their tails in their home turf, signing two of the eight players. 

North Carolina: 9 recruits in the Top 300. BR 42nd overall Quavaris Crouch ATH signed with Tennessee. Who owns the state? Threesome between Tennessee, UNC, and NC State with two a piece. 

Tennessee: 9 recruits in the Top 300. BR 85th overall Lance Wilhoite WR, signed with Oregon. Who owns the state? Tennessee Vols still do but not by much. They signed two recruits and had two other SEC teams, LSU and Georgia, sign a player each.

Virginia/DC: 11 recruits in the Top 300. BR 22nd overall Brandon Smith OLB, signed with Penn State. Who owns the state? Penn state signed the most penning two guys. Virginia Tech had one and UVA had none. 

Tier 2 States:

Alabama: 14 recruits in the Top 300. BR Pierce Quick OT, signed with the University of Alabama. Who owns the state? Who do you think? Nick Saban signed five of the players in the state and Auburn signed one. 

Louisiana: 14 recruits in the Top 300. BR 11th overall John Emery RB, signed with LSU. Who owns the state? Coach O does. LSU signed eight of the eleven guys. 

Mississippi: 14 recruits in the Top 300. BR 19th overall Jerrion Ealy RB, signed with Ole Miss. Who owns the state? Rebels and State split with four recruits each. Auburn on their trail signing three. Got to hand it to State, they keep getting people to go to Starkville somehow. 

Tier 1 States: 

These next four states make up 147 of the 300 top recruits. It's like the electoral college but instead of New York you have Georgia. Because there is so much talent in these states I'll put up a scoreboard of who signed people in each state.      

California: 33 recruits in the Top 300. California had the number one recruit in the country in Kayvon Thibodeaux. Kayvon's a DE who signed with Oregon. California is responsible for 14 recruits in the top 100 players. Who owns the state? Oregon Ducks, signing on six players. This used to be all USC. Given their recent struggles Oregon and Washington were able to swoop in and steal some big guys from their PAC 12 rivals. The breakdown:  

Oregon- 6 recruits

USC- 5 recruits

Washington- 4 recruits

Stanford- 3 recruits

Texas- 3 recruits 

Arizona State University and Boise State- 2 recruits each

Clemson, Florida, Michigan, Notre Dame, Oklahoma, Tenn,  UCLA, and SC- 1 recruit each

Must hurt USC to see Texas so close in the standings for their own state. Especially given that Texas flipped their best recruit, Bru McCoy who's from Santa Ana. 

Georgia: 35 recruits in the Top 300. BR 6th overall Jadon Haselwood WR, signed with Oklahoma. The state of Georgia holds three spots in the Top 10 recruits and has 13 of the Top 100. Who owns the state? Kirby and the Dawgs but not by much. They signed five guys from Georgia in this class. The breakdown:  

Georgia- 6 recruits 

Auburn- 4 recruits

Tennessee- 4 recruits 

Alabama- 3 recruits 

Michigan- 3 recruits 

Clemson, Florida, FSU, Notre Dame, Ohio State, and Texas- 2 recruits each 

Kentucky, Louisville, Minnesota, and Oklahoma- 1 recruit each

Texas: 38 recruits in the Top 300. BR 3rd overall Kenyon Green OT, signed with Texas A&M. Texas has 17 of the Top 100 recruits. Who owns the state? Texas A&M and it's not even close. They signed 11 guys in the class, 6 of whom are in the top 100. The breakdown: 

A&M- 11 recruits 

Texas- 4 recruits 

Oklahoma- 4 recruits

Alabama, Baylor, Notre Dame, and Stanford- 2 recruits each

Arizona, Florida, Georgia, Illinois, Kansas St, LSU, Northwestern, OK State, Ohio State, and SC- 1 recruit each

Holy Jimbo Fisher, Mr. Steal Yo Recruit. 11 guys is a massacre. And is Texas back? That has to sting tying your biggest rival in in-state recruits, 

Florida: The most top recruits in the country belongs to the Florida, even if they should be considered their own country. Florida has 40 guys in the Top 300. BR 2nd overal Nolan Smith who signed with Georgia. They have 2 Top 10 recruits and 13 out of the Top 100. Who owns the state? Chomp chomp baby. University of Florida penned seven of the forty recruits. The breakdown:

UF: 7 recruits

FSU: 6 recruits 

Alabama, Clemson, and Georgia: 4 recruits each

Miami: 3 recruits

Auburn, Michigan, Oregon, and Penn State: 2 recruits each 

A&M, Texas, Oklahoma, and USC- 1 recruit each

FSU is keeping it close given their recent struggles and the whole Francois thing they got goin on now. Dan Mullen in his second year has shown serious strides in bringing UF back to a powerhouse program. 

So there you have it. Go argue with your friends about how where you come from is better than where they're from. Florida may be the place to recruit but remember Alabama is still the place to be. 24 of Saban's 28 commits are in the Top 300.