Every good supervillain needs a realistic backstory to explain their behavior. Ever since the Christopher Nolan Batman triology anyway. Whether you love Elon Musk or hate him, being the richest man in the world automatically qualifies him as a supervillain. Sorry, dems da rules. Elon’s estragned father Errol, however, makes Elon look like a boy scout.
Errol was reportedly a multimillionaire himself before turning thirty years old. According to Elon, Errol was the youngest person to ever have a professional engineer’s qualification in South Africa. He also was a pilot, a sailor, a politician against the apartheid, and a property developer. He was also rumored to own an emerald mine but that has since been refuted by Elon himself. But IQ and money wasn’t the only thing Errol shared with his son. They also have the same knack for impregnating women, having seven children of his own.
In a Rolling Stone interview, a teary eyed Elon told the interviewer, “He was such a terrible human being. You have no idea. My dad will have a carefully thought-out plan of evil. He will plan evil… Almost every crime you can think of, he has done. Almost every evil thing you could possibly think of, he has done.” So what drove the father and son apart?
Was it that Errol killed three people in their house? Oh yeah, shot the shit out of them. Very dead. It’s alleged that the incident happened in the presence of the Musk children too. But nope, that wasn’t it. Elon claimed that the shooting was done in self defense against armed men who broke into their home.
It’s never been said explicitly what happened between Elon and Errol for them to no longer be in each other’s lives. But I have a good guess. Errol knocked up his step-daughter, twice.
After divorcing Elon’s mother Maye Haldeman, Errol married Heide Bezuidenhout. Heide had two children of her own and added two more with Errol. Her daughter Jana, Errol’s stepdaughter, just had her second child by Musk patriarch. Jana was only four years old when her mother married Errol. Errol has justified his actions stating that Jana didn’t grow up in his household. But I think we can all agree that he’s a creepy pervert. Dirty old man.
Although it’s weird for everyone in the Musk family, imagine how Asha and Alexandra Musk feel. Their half-sister Jana, has two children with their father. Which means their nephews are also their half-brothers. Heebie jeebies.
Errol Musk told the NY Post in an email, “I’ve been accused of being a Gay, a Misogynist, a Paedophile, a Traitor, a Rat, a Shit (quite often), a Bastard (by many women who’s attentions I did not return) and much more. My own (wonderful) mother told me I am ‘ruthless’ and should learn to be more ‘humane’.”
Holy shit dude, there’s some things you should keep to yourself. Almost feels like you’re bragging about being called some of those things. I have a funny feeling shagging his stepdaughter and poppin three dudes in his house is just the tip of the iceberg. Feel like the conspiracy crowd would have a field day with ol’ Errol.
Turns out Elon’s greatest accomplishment is actually not turning out to be a lunatic like his father. If trolling on Twitter and a libido like Austin Powers is the worst of it, I’d say he turned out alright. You know being the richest man in the world and all. But I understand now why he’s been trying to fuck off to Mars for the better half of the decade.
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