College Polls Are Like A Good Hookup, But FPI Is Porn

ESPN has released it's first preseason Football Power Index (FPI) and theres a lot to get excited about. Here are the headlines, SEC makes up ten of the top twenty teams, Clemson beats out Bama for the number one spot, Ohio State was left out of the Top 10, Texas didn't make the Top 25, and recent national champions, UCF Knights, are ranked 37th. Now what the fuck is the Football Power Index? 

Before we get to FPI we need to speak on it's counterpart, the College Football Playoffs committee. The committee is made up of experts in the field who decide who should go to the playoffs based on strength of schedule, data given to them by SportsSource Analytics, and most important the human element or the eye test. Strength of schedule, who have you played and are they good? Data analysis, here's what the numbers say. Human element, when you physically watch them how do they look? Imagine the CFP polls as a girl deciding if she wants to hook up with you at the bar. Strength of schedule: does it look like other women want to get with you, and how do they look? Data analysis, how many likes are you getting on your Instagram posts? The Human element, do you look good? Did you impress her maybe by buying her a drink, being funny, or maybe you're a Travolta in the boom boom room. Human decisions. 

The FPI is a series of simulations based on computer inputs to compute probabilities of an outcome. Kind of like Dr. Strange in Infinity War.

   

FPI preseason takes most into account the team's last four seasons with an emphasis on the previous year, how many starters are returning with an emphasis on quarterback, is the coach returning, upcoming strength of schedule, and then a minor reflection on the last four recruiting classes. FPI is more like porn. It takes into account things that you can't express in a hookup. Like maybe you're into lesbians, or asians with an emphasis on anal, or MILFs with an emphasis on bit tits. Strength of schedule? Thats just search history baby. 

Point being, its fine to find the FPI exciting, but one is a fucking computer and the other is the real deal.