That’s the smirk of a world champion if I’ve ever seen one. Matt Ellis, the legend himself, has set the Guinness World Record for most bars visited in a 24 hour span. 51 pubs (bars) in 8 hours 32 minutes and 37 seconds. An impressive feat…. or is it?
First of all, this apparently all took place St. Peots, Cambridgeshire which is certainly not a real place. Then when I found out he was only consuming 4.2 ounces per stop I thought, what a puss. Without realizing that full beers would’ve meant putting down 51 cold ones almost certainly hospitalizing him. Ok, so 1/3 beers, 51 times = 17 beers. Not terrible, right? Wrong. This fraud, yes I said it, admitted to mostly sticking to orange juice and diet soda during his “conquest”. What the fuck is the point of that? Might as well done a McDonald’s crawl if you’re stick to juice and DCs.
I would smoke this fool. Wipe that smirk right off Matt Ellis’ face. Not only would I crush 51 bars in 8 hours, 32 minutes, and 37 seconds, but I’d do it right. 6 oz. per stop, 25 and a half beers. Guaranteed. My bladder ain’t worth a shit, but eight hours is a long time. I see a world record in my near future. Somebody give Guinness a call.
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