Tuesday, July 14, 2020

Can You Shave In Space?

Shaving GIFs | Tenor


I have shaving on my mind. My little brother and I are having a petty war over our shared bathroom sink. He shaved his beard and left little shavies fucking everywhere. I yelled at him, he accused me of a similar crime, now the sink has been covered in dark tiny hairs for the past week. While he's still shaving in our bathroom, I've been shaving in our Dad's sink to prove a point. Little silent protest action. But every time I shower in our bathroom, just seeing the sink is enough to make me consider fratricide. So I started to wonder, what could possibly be worse than this?

It's probably because I'm reading science fiction at the moment, but I'm pretty sure you're not allowed to shave in space. The sink is bad enough, but what if you don't even have a sink? Or gravity! The fucking horror. Your spaceship covered in floating shavies! Everybody is itchy 24/7, or whatever the term is for a place with no day or night. God forbid you mosey about the cabin with your mouth open. Imagine choking on someone else's beard and then having to wash it down with water made from filtered urine. There's just no way they shave. 

Alright I'll clean the sink. Perspective and all. There's also the looming possibility that it actually was my hair the whole time, but I doubt it. I'll clean it after I shave for work tomorrow. I hate that I have to shave for work, maybe I'll switch to an astronaut. I'll take the peepee water if I can keep my beard. I'm sure I meet whatever the other requirements are. 

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