Entertaining yourself during the draft as a Rams fan is a tall order. We haven’t had a first round pick in five years. Jared Goff was the last one. I mean look at what the fuck the teams been doing for draft prep. Making the trailer for Mission Impossible 7. Mcvay is walking around the beach house we’re drafting in with the Lombardi and not a care in the world. Since I don’t have a Super Bowl trophy or a production company, I have to find other avenues to pass the time.
Luckily for me, I live in New Jersey. Home of the most loathsome fan bases in the world. Most of my friends are Jets fans with a sprinkle of Giants. No matter who they draft each year, my friends tell me the Jets are going to win 13 games.
Even if they didn’t like the pick, they’ll find a positive draft grade or watch hours of Bleacher Report clips until they brainwash themselves into believing they’re geniuses. Not this year.
I texted all of my friends demanding the following: their dream pick, a pick they’re cool with, and a realistic nightmare scenario. Jets fans had extra credit for telling me “how much is too much” for Deebo Samuel.
No saying “that’s what I wanted” while lying through your teeth. People will be held accountable for their desires this year.
If you hate Jets/Giants fans this is what we’re rooting against and for with the four Top 10 New York picks this year. We don’t want the Giants to draft Evan Neal, Sauce Gardner, or Derek Stingley. We do want the Giants to trade the 5 pick and get stuck with low OL scraps after everyone else takes the top guys. For the Jets, please God, no Aidan Hutchinson with the four pick. No Icky Ekwonu either. No Garret Wilson/Jameson Williams/Drake London at 10. We’re praying that they draft Kyle Hamilton and trading the 4 pick for Deebo.
Skin back in the game my friends. Feel free to use the blueprint to hold your buddies accountable for what’s about to happen in Vegas. Grab some wings, drink some beers, Hardknocks is right around the corner. May the odds be ever in your favor.
*Bonus gambling tip. I’m 2/2 in the past two drafts in bets +1000 or over. In 2020 I predicted Jalen Hurts to the Eagles, hit. In 2021 I had the Rams drafting a receiver with their first pick, hit. This year, Rams to draft a QB with their first pick at +10,000, heat check.
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