And so begins the hangover. The Super Bowl is done and there are 200 more days until the first college game. Being a Rams fan and a die hard Tide fan, 2019 thus far has been a cruel mistress. I've lost two football championships in 28 days. Given that the Venn Diagram of Rams/Alabama fans is well, just me, its fair to say that I have the fullest sack in the country at the moment. Logic states that I should swear off football all together, but Al Pacino states "Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!". Meet your newest Birmingham Iron fan.
Birmingham Iron are no dummies. They put the first "professional" sports team in Alabama and stacked it with alum from Bama and Auburn. First name that jumps off the page is Trent Richardson. T-rent. Trent was a fan favorite in Tuscaloosa and the star of one of my favorite Bama highlights, where he snatches a Rebel DB's ankles to smithereens. In 2011 he led the SEC in Rushing Yards and Touchdowns. Most know the story of Trent, drafted 3rd overall by the Browns, and then traded to Indy where he went to die quietly. Since then Richardson has been bouncing around pre season rosters, the CFL, and Bama's scout team. I'm hoping the 28 year old Heisman finalist finds some solace in Birmingham. Next is Blake Sims. Blake made me look like an idiot in 2014. Preseason I really really wanted Jake Coker for the Tide's next quarterback. Instead it was Sims who was recruited as a running back and ultimately was one until he won the job going into 2014. He went on to post 35 total TDs that year and lead us to the first College Football Playoffs where we lost Cardale fucking Jones. Lastly on this roster I'm looking forward to Chris Black. I'm not sure how many people remember him but he was Bama's number one receiver in the 2012 recruiting class, a class that included Amari Cooper. Chris Black was supposed to be the shit but wound up just doing shit. Each season was going to be his breakout year but after three years he ended his time in Bryant-Denney with only 25 receptions for the Tide and transferred to Missouri. I just fact checked myself and Chris Black didn't make the team. Tiger don't change it's stripes. Fuck it, it's too late for me I'm already going to watch, but why should you?
The league has done a good job of landing some college legends and putting them in the cities where they played at the collegiate level. Josh Johnson was a feel good story in the NFL this year when he came in for Alex Smith and the Redskins. He hadn't even thrown the ball since 2011 and won vs a good (on paper) Jacksonville defense. He was taken number one overall and will play for San Diego where he played in college. Aaron Murray was a god in Georgia. Here are some of the records he still holds for the Bulldogs: most completions, single season passing yards, career passing yards, highest career completion pct, most touchdowns in a single season, and most touchdowns career. Brother wrote the book. Murray was drafted by Atlanta. Other notable QBs include Trevor Knight, Scott Tolzien, Zach Mettenberger, and Christian Hackenberg, the former supposed to be number pick in the NFL.
What about the coaches? Mike Singletary and Brad Childress landed head coaching positions. Mike Vick is debuting his coaching career in Atlanta as Offensive Coordinator. Yet, the undisputed headliner has to be the return of the great Coach Steve Spurrier. Spurrier is probably the wittiest coach to ever do it. His resume is a piece of art. Two-time ACC Coach of the Year, five-time SEC Coach of the Year, won six SEC Championships, one National Championship, and took home a little thing called the Heisman in 1966 as the Gator's QB. Spurrier was a problem in the press room. Undefeated in roasting other programs and coaches. Heres some of his roasts: he referred to rival FSU as "Free Shoes University" after a Foot Locker scandal, after a failed NFL attempt said "There are no Vanderbilts in the NFL", and my personal favorite after an Auburn dorm fire where 20 books went up in flames Spurrier commented "The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet." The old man was an All-American shit talker. When coaching at 70 Spurrier explained his reasoning for staying on the sidelines, "I forgot to get fired and I'm not going to cheat." So now at the ripe age of 73 Steve's ready to shaft this league, and he's been practicing.
So lets get this out of the way, the team names stink. There's only 8 teams: Arizona Hotshots, Atlanta Legends, Birmingham Iron, Memphis Express, Orlando Apollos, Salt Lake Stallions, San Antonio Commanders, and San Diego Fleet. They sound like the upcoming clothing lines for FUBU but thats the names and they're sticking to it. It's a twelve week season, ten weeks regulation, one week playoffs, one week championship. You wanted more football well heres your chance. If I can cheer for a roster with Chris Davis, hero of the "Kick Six", surely you can find a team to fill that prolate spheroid (shape of a football) void in your heart. Kickoff is Saturday Feb 9th, 8pm EST on CBS Sports Network.
Anyway, here's that Trent Richardson hesi
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