In case you were living under a rock in 2015, Jameis Winston stole crab legs once. He claimed that they were a generous gift from the local Publix but then video footage came out of him snatching the crab legs off the counter and la-di-da'ing out of the store. The whole state of Alabama responded. Local food stores were selling King Crab Legs with his name on them, the University's cafeterias were giving them out, it was a whole thing.
I'm not sure how many people know this but Jameis Winston is actually from Birmingham, AL. Rumor has it that the only reason he didn't go to Bama is because Saban wouldn't let him play baseball. So overall, how do crab legs fair for the good people of Alabama?
The African-American Heat Miser vs Pedophile Glasses. According to this report from Fox these two ruffians broke out in a tong fight while waiting for crab legs in a Huntsville buffet. An off duty cop witnessed the whole altercation saying that both suspects started "fencing" with the buffet tongs. Sometimes the world is too perfect. Picture these two, fighting like crabs, over crabs. Clanging the tongs together trying to intimidate their opponent, striking on every opening. What a fucking scene. Heat Miser was charged with assault for opening up Pedophile Glasses' head. So I guess she won, or lost depending on how you look at it. Moral of the story, Alabamians, stick to BBQ.
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